wind chills u to a degree...

and it's been darn cold here... add to that the fact that i am sick... it's worse. alot worse.

there have been reports of landslides and flooding... massive traffic jams that stop the services of the amtraks and metros (a.k.a trains and buses)

i am getting a little worried about going to portland on holiday now... :(

and a pastor was caught for raping a girl put in his charge at a young age... like 11 times?

what is the world getting to?

in a quandary and sick.

:( yes you didn't hear wrongly. i am sick. really sick for that matter... but it hasn't been showing too much because i bottle it all inside... fact is that i have been having my nasal cavities quite inflammed and my nose running with headaches in check and feverish spells... as well as a horrible sore throat which has dissipated the moment all the other symptoms came along... the sore throat's always the indication but i didn't catch it fast enough... thought it was due to the weather... ai yoh... sophie sophie sophie... you are perfectly capable of self-medicating, being a sensible girl who knows how to take care of yourself... how so?

because i had only 8 hours of sleep in total over the weekend... because i have had crazy schedules last week and thinking about next week keeps me all jittery...

and my tests have been coming back... just realised that the approach i had to one of my papers was a little off... ok more than a little off... shucks. :(

what to do? when you got it wrong... let it go let it be la... try harder the next time around...

though for my marketing test... haiz... i think i need to be more bimbotic, learn more about the american retailing systems and all in order to do well... cause the marks i lost (alot of it) were due to my lack of knowledge on specific details pertaining to the US...

which puts me nearer to the bottom of the class... for the first time here man...

and the paper... aiyoh... another jialat one... don't know how... :(

God... don't forsake me...

i am so screwed.

i think my weight has been fluctuating alot these few days and yes i have gotten fatter. shoot. i hate myself for this... but forgive me because i haven't been eating so much chocolate and cream in such a long time... it's rather divine. :)

no doubt there's a possibility of rolling back home... or acting buoy in the sea...

was so upset when i got back my marketing results. but it clearly shows me where i should go: nowhere. cause i belong no where. i am not fantastic in finance, nor marketing, nor op management... maybe i should go understudy a tai tai... that would be good...

oh but that would mean no more of eating excessively and keeping slim won't it? uh uh... am not doing it...

darn you know what? i think i am going to have my pms... or rather i am having it now... so lethargic... fell asleep in the commons for like two hours in between classes... i should have been shot.

you are almighty.

I thought that i would be spared from classes today since he didn't mention any syllabus for today... but i checked the class website and he put in the schedule the last minute... oh well...

and then i woke up to the tune of 6 hours of sleep (the highest i have clocked in so far in days)

and sleepily crawled my way down my bed...

went for breakfast and had my freshly baked waffles and yoghurt...

went to class got my test results. i knew it. had that sinking feeling within me about this one.

but discussed it with my prof a while about it... managed to get like 2 marks extra...

having this horrible sore throat now...

but it's God telling to me to stop those body-bashing sessions... i need to sleep.

Yes i will obey.

"it's not longer a question of true/false in christianity, it's a matter of yes/no to a question of "will you love me and love my sheep?""

are you taking away my labtop for a reason?

God, why isn't my lab top working? and i feel so helpless yet at peace now... that same feeling i get whenever something is wrong but i have perfect faith that he is in control... ian's completely baffled by the situation now.. lap top is not working and he's been working on it for the umpteenth time... still not working... and he is great at computers...

am still upset (though not seething) at the amount of phone bills i have chalked up unknowingly... haiz... just generally upset.

not even upset that i am not going to north canada next week because of the stuff that i have been going through... just stoned.. you know what i mean?

went for the reunion dinner on friday, then went back sat afternoon, then i generally went back to fix the silly computer... which didn't listen obediently.. and then me and ian went to doctor funk at night till like past mid... then slept at 3am trying to fix the com AGAIN... and still didn't work...

sunday came i woke up at 6am to talk to my parents... told you guys i had this rebellious streak in me and then i got over it once we stopped gripping about it... and i was trying to be hilarious in my descriptions of seattle again...

:)

which made my parents tremendously relieved...

i think and believe sincerely that i am a huge spoilt brat. i make them so affected by what i do and what i say... i do the most incorrigible things and make them upset... why?

i went to church just now and it hits me time and again about how i make things go my way (or rather, try to) and God is this infinite God who allows me to play my own little game and yet it's all part of his entire agenda...

God God... you made me lose my lap top and pay the bills to wake me up... say hey girl, what about me?

just to share a few songs i sang in church... touched me totally...

"Indescribable" by Laura Story

From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing your majesty
From the colours of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming:

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name
You are amazing, God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck, we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim
You are amazing, God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night?
None can fathom...

Another one to share:

"Why do i do?" Brain Coon

Lonely is my heart when all i do is wander
Campass needle like a wheel
Great is my desire to answer the pesky questions
Why do i do what i don't want to do?

Yet you say you'll never leave me,
Though every step I take is mine
I am longing to be known, hold me in your holy fold
Remind me that it's true: i belong to you

Oh move me rom the ruddy rut to the groovy groove
O lord won't you move me?

Living a double life like a wolf among the faithful
Needing but ignoring much of your mercy
Shunning my sinful self but embracing it in the next moment
Why do i do what i don't want to do?

Sophie in and out in and out...

the $300 phone calls and my f***ed up attitude...

i didn't know why i was so horrible when i heard that i had to pay an extra 300 to singtel when all i did was pay so much for the calling cards, use my handphone to call the TOLL FREE number and then i had to pay for the local calls in america that i made...

dammit.

but my parents were so nice they said it's entirely ok... and when i spent on sightseeing and stuff they are so open about it.. told me it's money well spent. i could cry man...

and so when i got a little better when i started to talk about my experiences in the past week my mom was so relieved... she obviously thought that i had some sort of an emotional problem when i got here and stuff... and told me not to hang out with ian too much since 'he has a gf'... and 'i have a bf'... but then again she never really acknowledged nor approved of me and him right? oh well.. the justifications we go through as humans...

are many a times not justified...

haha... but i love them still... my family, my dear... my friends...

and i would so love to go back to singapore and experience cheap calling experiences again... if only i had a US line though...

would have been so much cheaper...

haiz... for now... 300 phone calls... for a month la...

darn.

wow. the merlion and alot of funk!

merlion referring to the girl who almost puked all over ian in the bus on the way home... she was really liberal in her spit... ha... *shudder* it was very gross... but all in the name of human rights... everyone is entitled to his or her space!

we went to Highway 99 for Doctor Funk! woo hoo! well we almost didn't make it because i had some problems with my internet and couldn't get hold of ian but somehow in the end we managed to... :) thank God... it was so so good... the pianist - man he was so good i was standing there with my mouth open wide... wide open... and the guitarist... wow he had tons of pedal which ian introduced me to the functions of... and yes i finally got to see a tower amplifier... cool 6k worth i think... and it's only the price of one...

grooving baby... hehe :)

the new year comes with new wakey times...

oh well i went over to acacia court to have my reunion dinner (early) and then now's saturday but i have not got back home... slept over... was too tired at 5am last night after planning for the portland trip that i decided to stay on a little later... thank God this week's a breather.. though next week would be crazy...

haiz... but dinner was a good albeti a little of horrors here and there... :) our pork and prawns turned out very fine with our noodles and veggies being quite icky... but we nevertheless had a good time laughing it through... hehe

my friends all have been raving about the sales at northgate... but seems no one really has the time to go... although raymond was like going oh we didn't have to go to portland to shop cause the prices here are good!

he had vehemently supported everyone going to portland because he insisted the prices were right on...

oh well, i am not thinking straight now... haha...

someone came through my door...

alicia and her friends made this racket in my room when one of them knocked the door in the middle of the night at 330am... and she wasn't in the room so i had to climb down and open the darn door... thrice...

and then her friend came in saying he didn't know where she was so i offered him my phone to call and he finally located her... went off and came back and woke me up again when he couldn't find the room that she was in... well he called again through my phone and found a place to meet her in like 15 min... so i stayed up to talk to him... in the dark... haiz...

somehow... felt God speaking to him through me... just heard this misunderstood and poor guy who got kicked out of the house since like 8 years ago and has been traveling without a home... and been jumping job to job to survive...

my heart really went out to him man... his name is jeff... and then when alicia came back for him... he told everyone else there that he had a great chat with me... and hopes to chat with me again... said i made him feel comfortable about sharing and talking... and was very nice in lending him my phone and all... he asked if i was religious... i said i was a christian...

made me smile all day... :)

thank God for this opportunity...

and alicia woke me up once more an hour later to pack up her stuff to go california... LA... on an 18 hour road trip... i said it was ok... she was sorry but i know that there's something that started in our friendship from then on... :)

and i finally saw him online.. he said the same too... so we chatted. had so much fun! can't wait to get back... haiz... haha... but i still am going to enjoy this time here! he said he would love for me to take america back home to him... so nice of him... not at all sticky or anything... except the fact that we spent like 15 min saying our goodbyes... online... ok la... not sticky what! *wink*

who knows what tomorrow brings?

:0P

been discussed. am going north canada to where they have got 24 hours of night in winter over the weekend...to see the aurora! this would be in two week's time...

been discussed. am going south to portland, oregon to where they have got the jazz festival! and the tax free shopping yes, but then i really don't have the budget you'll see why... a concert there costs US$30, though it would be held in marriot hotel. which means i have to dress up... sheesh... and we're going for a whole 4 days three nights... really don't have the money to pay much... for shopping... :( ha

been discussing. am going either south to california or san francisco, or east to boston or new york. depends on how we can get the flights here and there... during the spring break (the time between my finishing this winter term and coming back)

been stressed. so much traveling, how to study?!?

or maybe it's as what i told ian... now we study like hell... we play in heaven!

which could be processed in what we believe in this world today...the world works us like anything, and we had better be good stewards... but we play and enjoy ourselves in heaven... hmm... then again i don't know if this is good allocation of money... ha. though i know that it's mainly because i had planned much ahead of time to have all these for my 21st birthday... thought of celebrating and traveling alone... but God gave friends... and good ones for that matter! I really thank him for their constant encouragement and looking out for me... :)

esp ian.

no no, he's got a gf. don't think crooked.

this weekend! chinese new year... my indonesian chinese friends in my management group would be eating huo guo in some restaurant... premium prices for sure (since they are all so well-to-do haha) but i don't mind... albeit the timings all clash!!!

tomorrow got to wake up early to do my laundry, then go marketing at the international district with simon, michelle, fanny and ian... then go back to cook, hang out (something i have no idea of since a few weeks back-been studying for tests and tests and more tests) and then eat a hearty meal! then pub. haha. jazz, what else? :)

sat morning brings with it my doing more assignments (told you i can't escape from them) and then readings (i have got tons of midterms coming up- yes yes we're into midterms now if you don't realise i have had 4 weeks of school and each term's for ten weeks only)... then go marketing with rachel and cherlyn to buy what? chinese food again... and cook for our international friends of south africans, japanese, taiwanese and thai... haha... told you multi-racial... then hang out, watch basketball - the washington huskies are on! (though saldly they have been totally out of form-darn) and go home to sleep...

to sunday morning where i would be chatting early morning with my family.. then possibly go sleep again... wake up to meals and more readings... then church in the evening... after which it is entirely impossible to do any more work since alicia would be back... haha

oh she's back from her illness... some passable disease...but since i have had chicken pox... isn't so bad...

and found condoms in her washing basket. wonder who in the world is so horny? maybe hailey... haha..

a voice, studying time and revelation!

i was dead tired but something told me to study today's readings... and i did reluctantly... and wasn't surprised by a pop quiz today...

it's always God working... i realised i haven't been as faithful... :(

i thought that since next week would be rather free for me, i might have wanted to go shopping and let it out some... but i didn't. opting instead to run around the supermarkets and get snacks and some food for comfort. haha. eating again....

the marginal utility of eating is increasing but i don't see that for shopping!

which is an entirely good thing if you ask me... :)

i would be homeless for the week in between that i would have to leave the hall and have my flight back home... asked the housing pple about it, they said spring is a busy quarter and they can't do anything about it... no premium prices would work. oh well... now that i am a little worried about my expenses... told ian about it and he said he would gladly take me in! yay. i'm homed.

and we'll most prob be going around traveling as a group... even if they don't, knowing ian, he would. so i won't have to worry too much about this and that... God will provide and he does...

did i tell you that ian's a friend of a bunch of friends of mine? and people i have met before in my life... like my pri sch favorite teacher mrs soh-a.k.a. aunty chiew ping, alvin chow, and becky! :)

God truly provides...

my loyalty- changed.

wore my UDub sweat shirt to school today and got alot of remarks from the ntu bunch... some were expected, like that of whoa, you're changing your loyalty so quickly... to which i said that i have never really felt alot of loyalty to nus anyways... not to anything in particular... it's just a sweat shirt i like. what's the deal? :)

ok la perhaps there are more implications than i assume... :)

then someone said whoa you got no shirt to wear ah? to which i thought it was utterly most silly... ha... cause for a price of the sweat shirt i got you could buy any ordinary other sweat shirt like that of nike or the likes of it... but it was interesting some other girl commented to this guy that i have been shopping like mad here... i was like... ok... was a good move but it kinda made me feel a little guilty that i have been shopping... ALOT.

anyway, this friday we're going to shop for the groceries together in the afternoon, come together to cook... and then go out for the night... :) there would be all the desserts you can think of, of chinese... and pretty much what i would be getting back in singapore, though i won't say for home since my mom does a fantastic job of the reunion dinner we've got back at home.... oh mom...

but i got to speak to her over the phone in the midst of studying yesterday... was very glad that i could! and it pleased her to hear my voice as well... since well i can't talk to them this weekend much... save the next cause i would be having three midterms in the midst of assignments aplenty... *God help me*

today was queer... i ate alot and got very full and in classes i was enjoying myself so much i forgot about hunger... the next minute i stepped out of class... you could hear the stomach work its way miles away... haha...

fancy my little tummy...

hey i ate alot- just to update...

this is not good at all... *shakes head* especially with the huge dinner on friday coming up... :) :(

no i wasn't trying to be obnoxious

i left the test halfway in between... no it wasn't that i am obnoxious... but honestly staying in there after checking my paper twice through probably isn't going to help me much...

and i did management science before... that kinda helped alot.

:)

ian was asking me why i was up so early when i logged onto the web messenger... truth is i had been done with a paper already... haha...

and now i am looking for something to do... whilst waiting for the fiuts lunch... oh well guess i could do some more research for my paper due next week and some readings so i don't have to be confined to the study table so much this week! :)

sounds delicious... hehe.

cause this weekend some of us singaporeans would be having reunion dinner together... got to get together and cook and stuff...

outrage.

my power supply got cut off twice in a day! well how would you like that? :)

i am smiling because... thankfully, as the Lord gently reminded me, i didn't have to like hand up any assignments today and send it to my email and get it printed in school and stuff... was supposed to be in school for a project meeting and just as i was about to leave the email from my friend came in to say that she couldn't make it for the meeting... then my power supply got cut off. thank God huh?

and yes i went down to report the power thingy for the second time and both times they got it up for me. needed to recharge my handphone because it was low batt and i need the alarm clock in it to help me get up on time tomorrow for my test! when i got back home, the phone was charged, the power was back on...

and for two days now, with one of my room mates moved out, and the other no where to be seen, i have been having the entire room to myself! :)

though a down side to today was that i ate ALOT. honestly... like erm, double my daily portions... i wonder why... oh... think that thing is coming again... it's always like that... better tell the rest around me to watch out for my pms... haiz...

the perils of being a girl...

and i was totally incoherent in my essay today when i wrote it... thankfully i have got some time to revise it... perhaps when i am more alert and clear headed...

for now, please go take a bath and get to studying for tomorrow morning's paper!!!

Hailey's gone.

she felt that it was too depressing living in the dorms... i was like gee, was it partially my fault of being totally independent and not being the friend who needed to be there for her? or has it been a delayed thing that she has always wanted to live at home and drive everyday to school?

my other room mate alicia, came into the room in the middle of the night from her weekend home, woke me up entirely... and then went off without my knowing anything... gee she's been depressed lately... i don't know... hope that she's fine... really... her hp's not picking up as well...

*worried*

been four weeks since i last touched down on ground... made UDub my home, Nus my second... fell in love with the weather and culture... got integrated...

had my first few tests in UDub and today's second was a miracle... cause honestly after having 4 straight hours of classes, and then having to study in between, and then having to cut out news to present in class, and a presentation that almost didn't have slides to it due to our forgetting to rent the projector... thank God really...

my presentation was better than i expected. :)

eating my thai food now... found it out in the convenience store downstairs... feels like home...

and home's 8 weeks and a half away, freedom's in 6 and a half...

i actually planned out my whole term's worth of work... in between studying for marketing... sheesh... i am scary... but then there's only 6 weeks plus to the end of the quarter... oh well...

overload

my brain's been working a little slow today and i have not been able to articulate whatever i needed to say in those casual conversations... must be the two tests that i studied for and not surprisingly kinda got lost within it. the worse thing? i don't know if i remember anything at all... it's too much content!

TCS and ERP... those few things i needed to remember i put into these acronyms... but nah those aren't for school... it's what i need to buy and blog here...

T for Tennis... i finally got to see a tennis match on the telly! yay it was so nice but the screen kept getting littered with scores from the basketball games and stuff... man they don't deserve people like lindsay davenport fighting for the US like that in tennis!

C for church... today i went for the 5pm service and it was smashing! we had a black church styled worship which was rather contemporary... with gospel singing and saxophonists! was such a jazz experience... told ian that we were rewarded for not going pubbing today... haha

S for simon's Salmon! we had salmon steak at the ntu people's place and it was nice... just the small group of the 5 of us- fanny, michelle, ian and simon... and i... just joined them for dinner... was so warm and nice... :)

E for envelopes i needed to get to pay for all my bills... *shudder*

R for recharging my pathetic husky card which has only 6 cents in it.

P for printing my assignments and presentation all due tomorrow...

and yes P possibly for post letters and check out the rates for sending back jumbo boxes of textbooks...

oh! and i met my host, kathryn in church today! was such a pleasant, wonderful surprise! she was just thinking of getting me over to dinner or sth... wow... God works in miracles we don't understand... ;P

can't imagine myself man...

i have never been this conscientious in a long time... reading up, studying... then again, maybe it's the american system of throwing all the tests all over... till everyone's always on the move, constantly...

oh well... spoke to him over the phone last night and it was nice... though i discovered to my horror that i have spent 60 sing dollars on phonecalls so far... ops.

i need to talk less... though it's once a week... i need to be less luo suo... ha.

going for a group meeting later on this nice sunday afternoon
*grit*

and then to church at 5pm... youth service ma... late!

couldn't have been better!

:) i spent a nice time slacking online yesterday and it was most fulfilling cause i think i haven't done that in ages... and i really do mean ages... !!! turned on the songs ian downloaded for me and man does he have good taste in music!

we were supposed to go to a jazz place downtown today after our marketing at the international district at the japanese market which is very cheap (yes you didn't get me wrong there, jap food is considered cheap-relatively) so i bought alot of groceries-which i didn't need to but been thinking that i need more nutrition than muffins and burgers from the school cafes... ya... so i splurged on strawberries and grapes! tasted so nice- had some soon as i got back... and smoked salmon... it was so cheap... ok la... about singapore 6 bucks for a small slab? still cheap ma!

went to the goodwill to get my water boiler and at first i couldn't find anything... but ian was looking through his stereo stuff and found what i needed, not what he needed... ha... ironies. so i got my water boiler for singapore 10 bucks! thank God i need not buy the overly priced coffee in school anymore! can live with the coffee i brought over!!!

and karen dear, i tried to get the starbucks coffee for you at the market, but then it seems like lack of selection leh... i would go to the starbucks outlet to get it for you before i leave... remind me ok? :)

you want it super strong or light? or medium?

not to mention, arabica beans or mexican? or erm... there are so many... seattle's a hq for starbucks you know... haha... do let me know!

meanwhile... i am so enjoying myself being all alone in this room... haiz... the pleasures of life...

don't get me wrong, being all by myself is fun... but...

when both my room mates went off for the weekend, i was so elated... but when i got down to the cafe and all and met horribly rude americans, i missed them quite a fair bit!

well but that gone and done... and i am still enjoying every bit of the moment of being on my own... at least it feels like back at home where i don't have to be subjected to anyone's scrutiny over my singing as and when i feel like it! :)

there's alot of work to be done as well and so it's a good thing they are not around to provide some form of a distraction! haha no they don't get irritating of course... it's the constant chatter and clatter of the key boards being typed... not that mine isn't loud!

oh well...

oh no it's portland on weekend of 20th feb instead!

:) because the jazz festival would be then! and yes my vcf friends whom i spoke to over msn have been saying that i have changed rather much... didn't use to be so crazy over jazz.. well i am not exactly crazy nor very knowlegeable about it... but i enjoy it! it takes alot of skill and discipline to play that sort of music... and not to forget skill and talent too... something i may not possess but appreciate in others... :)

so it would be postponed till like two weeks later... but still got to plan the whole trip and cost and all... might be a little steep due to the entrance fees which we would otherwise not incur... as well as with the hotel stay... three nights... in uptown portland... *shrug* ian should be pouring over the scheduling and planning... he should be glad he has company... haha...

anyway i think i am hooked on online shopping... the shipping costs here are cancelled whenever you order a purchase over a certain amount... and my physically not going to the mall for obvious reasons of trying to cut down my expenses hasn't been helping much i guess... haha...no la... least online i can have that cognitive dissonance really quickly and not order it at all! which is a good thing... cause if i don't have that shiok feeling of getting something first hand i don't think i would want it at all...

but my marketing assignments keep needing me to go shopping to check out the scene in retailing... which the girls here periodically do but i am quite sick and tired of the shopping here even... yes even if the malls are so mega... cause i have covered the whole mall near my school... so i guess it's starting to get boring for me... until i get to portland of course! haha....

*wink*

good thing ian shops too...

and roolin would be coming with us as well... which is good la... got a girl's opinion for a change... and of course nice company from a nice girl... :) not that you aren't nice ok ian!

well we would be 'spoilt for choice of jazz pubs' in seattle as ian has gotten a fresh list of jazz pubs to go to over the weekend following the jazz festival in portland three weeks later... so i would be mugging today to get things done (as well as sunday night) for my tests next week so that i can get to the international district tomorrow to do some singaporean food shopping... (no i don't really miss anything but the north indian curry) and then get to the goodwill market to get hot water boiler for my daily coffee dose... and then of course head off to the jazz pub... what else? :)

there's finance meeting on sunday (imagine working on a weekend with group mates, argh) i would never do this in singapore... but since i am staying so near campus... guess it's alright... and so i have to go for the earlier service so that i can study for my test at night... haiz...

nothing unlike back in singapore where i am forever working during the semester... just that i have lots more extra activities in church and stuff that keeps me on my toes even more all so often...

going to talk to my family over the web cam tonight... which is singaporean time sat afternoon... yay! my mom would have just came back from japan... :)

My internet fine now!

All because I got the Ethernet cable finally and yes I bought them for a lot of money... Again... sheesh... But today was such an 'eventful' time that I kinda have to give it up to me...

I waited for half an hour for my otherwise all-guys team in management class for our project work. Got nothing done and had more talk about army stuff (since one of them is singaporean and two of them are indonesians with one more from south korea) - there is one commando, and one diver amongst them... but we had fun... guess i need to learn how to lighten up a little... haiz... haha... they have fun... i don't seem to. hm...

and waited another hour for my marketing presentation group mate.. this one was unintentional since he had some stuff to attend to and he tried to contact me but to no avail... he only has my room number and email.. so i didn't fault him on that definitely... and thanks to my overbearing attitude we got everything done within an hour. assigned speech and all *bow*

i was so exhausted doing these menial stuff that when i got to the uni book store to get my ethernet cable and send the card to my mom, just wanted to browse around the place and bought some Udub stuff on sale... again! but did get my files and hole punchers so that i can finally file up my stuff and not place them all over the place... my table looks so much neater now... and what with the ethernet on... i am all so set to mug!

except the mental state... i am so tired... haiz...

but alicia ( my room mate) said that she would like to visit me in singapore in like april... which is cool because the moment i get back, she's coming!

teach me how to smile because i need to learn how to reduce my expenditure in my dining account so that i have enough to last me through the quarter... i now try to eat two muffins per morning... it helps to bring the cost down... not the most healthy option though... haiz...

oh if you guys see how much i eat here... you'll flip out. i love eating. i eat lots of sandwiches. twice the amount though ( i always buy in twos)

imagine how much a person can change (not in size ya)

let the funk jazz through!

well it has been such an eventful week of not doing any serious work that it's starting to threaten not to become one... ironically...

classes in formal have technically ended for me this week but as usual i am faced with a fresh whole load of readings and yes, 3 assignments due next week, two tests, and one presentation... 3 of which are all due on monday, same time, same class... :(

and not to forget laundry of course...

my silly internet connection in my room is so screwed up that while they have taken care to spruce up this three person bedroom to accomodate three people, they have not taken the care to notice that three people cannot share two ports unless there's some sort of a splitter.. which they did give, leaving me to like what? buy another cable which costs ten dollars, and it's something i wouldn't need to have so much in excess... since well, i currently already have one to connect to a normal port... sheesh...

maybe i am just feeling this way due to the expenses that i have incurred in the past week... it's been quite much i would admit and it's starting to get to me... haiz... but still looking forward to get to portland so that i can 'recupe' my losses! and possibly have fun in a city that might just look alot like singapore... and taste like singapore!

we'll be driving up in about two weeks' time... yup... me and the ntu people... seems like it's really cheap to rent a car and drive around and all, so we would and leave in the morning to come back in the evening so that we wouldn't incur any overnight stay costs... which fiuts does and it adds up...

was only interested because ross doesn't have those nice clothing which i would like to have but portland does! my friends got the gap shirts and stuff for really cheap... nah even if i happen not to get anything (which would be really rare), then at least i have been to a major city here in the northwest! :)

right... i am justifying... but forgive me for tightening my expenses for now.... going to eat bread and no more good food! haha... i am seriously horrible... hehe.

tomorrow there's two meetings for me, rather intensive ones in which i have to get things printed out and stuff done... need to prepare for it... haiz... oh well... and not to forget that my mom's birthday is coming soon! but the one thing i really regret would be that her birthday in singapore happens to fall on the days that i have two tests in a row and an assignment due in seattle... and i don't want to talk to her late on the phone... in the sense that i would like to talk to her on her official birthday in singapore... *grrr* *frustrated*

forgive my angst. i still need to complete an article for epi...

you fixed it up!

and spruced up my computer with more music... i should thank you alot man... but too bad a sandwich was what i could do only... :(

won't negate the fact you still owe me ten bucks... US! haha...

anyway my computer is finally back on and i had so much frustration since i couldn't get anything done the whole day but i am just thankful that my finance assignment is finally back on and stuff and i need not worry about it anymore (except for wondering if my answers are finally right) hauz... me and my perfectionist streak over here... think the reason is because i am alone in studying and i am my only competitor... which is bad?

oh well it drove me nuts and i forgot about my shopping... ha... in some sense... won't be going shopping this weekend... since well... it was overdone during last weekend and i desperately need to catch up on my scheduling... though i don't know whether to go to boeing or not this weekend with fiuts since i most probably would be bringing my brother there when he gets here at the end of my exchange...

man oh man.... it's going to be a long long weekend...

next week's the portland trip! should i be going?

vancouver!!!

i had alot of fun although it might be questionable which is valid fun and which is not!

i wanted to get an ID of one of my friends to get into a jazz pub in canada, more so for the music and not the drinking definitely... but somehow got convicted not to do so and I thank God for helping me keep my sanity in the midst of wanting some excitement and fun here... :)

and guess what? the drinking age in canada is 18, unlike in seattle where it is 21... thank God for that!

and so i went with ian to go the jazz pub and had fun listening to songs like "brick house" and "lady mamalade", jazz funk and stuff... it was so nice! Billy Dixon was there to sing those songs- it was the soul train express! held at the fairview pub at west broadway it was the most exciting event of the whole vancouver trip!!!

well we went boutique shopping and i finally feel guilty about shopping because i was at shops like FCUK and Tommy Hilfiger and Esprit... oh no! what have i done?

but i don't really regret it one bit really... do i?

we walked around in the extremely cold weather of 2 degrees and i had to wear like extra layers compared to in seattle... walked alot is an understatement but we also went to Grouse Mountain and more jazz restaurants and chinatown and took the sky lift and sea bus (which is a cruise really)

i had to come back to study for my quiz which i just took... i think i would be ok judging from the amount of stuff i just remembered during the test... heh...

my com's down... what the...

goodness it's another shopping spree!

this time, i must qualify my stand... I did not and never wanted to shop as i really have no time and need to do whatever i need on my assignments and readings... *grrr*

since i would be going to vancouver and i intend to call him and my family tomorrow...

:)

my mom would be going off to Japan soon and i really really want to talk to her... haiz... would miss her so much...

was wondering just now if i should have bought some long sleeved shirts for my brother when he comes here to visit me... :) they look so cool and on sale... ha... i love him too... well i did in the end... don't like refusing my brother something i would like him to have...

and my sister got alot of jackets... and my dad- it's difficult since i didn't get to the store i wanted to to get him the stuff he would probably like... and then my mom would be sharing the accessories with me as with the larger clothes i got us both!

but the prices are very justified for sure... :)

had to do this marketing assignment called "let's go shopping" and i had to analyse the market segments two departmental stores were targeting as well as their approach to it. no i didn't shop at those places... they were too expensive... but i got cheap stuff in between my walk to and from both of them... :)

dunno what is cheap really... but i am trying to find out! my room mate buys like 2 bucks t shirts and stuff... at goodwill... think i might have been cheated haha... and she has so much clothing, naturally! the thing i can remember about today was more of the stuff i got for my family back at home... can't remember the last time i shopped for others... is the caring side of me showing up? i don't know...

but the side that's always thinking of myself sure is diminishing... trying to at least! :)

i don't miss familiarity...

i kinda get the hang of a place pretty quickly... and that makes me complacent... makes me think i can handle it all... makes me think i am smart when i actually am not.

going to vancouver! paid for it all already but the thing is that i dunno if i am allowed to visit certain places there for the likes of jazz not because i want to drink, of course... more for the music definitely... ya :)

and yes i have been bingeing so much... it's not good, doesn't sound good, and i know it's not going to feel good soon... esp with what the pple call fat food for americans... sounds like i am going to integrate into their culture more than i would have liked...

argh

haha actually... i have lost a little weight to be honest... the walks to school aren't jokes man... they're so tiring you could like count on it for a whole workout... add to that the blistering winds... the cold... and the rain...

and coffee increases your metabolism! but i drink it only because i am sleepy... the cold makes you vulnerable. which i hate. i hate to be sleepy in class. esp when i had a good night's sleep the night before.

and of course when class participation is such a high percentage you couldn't bear to ignore it can you?

i have a class with a 30% participation thingy and it's at 330pm till 530pm twice a week.... now you know... ha

Christian and i are thinking of joining the talent time in school... at first i thought he was crazy.... but he said we're prob the underdogs and we should try it since it'll be fun... for the fun of it... gabriel thought it was insane though when we asked him... *shrug*

the guys have been practising at the gym in my hall everyday for break dancing... we're not even started. and going on trips and sight-seeing and such... aiyoh... haha

don't like the looks of this...

i have been looking forward to the end of this exchange... suddenly.

kinda not because i don't like it here but the whole novelty of being in a foreign land is more or less lost and i want to get back home to dear singapore where i know of everything and love of everything...

i love and miss my family the most. i kinda got edgy when i showed up online and had to wait for them for an hour after our agreed online timing and was rather disappointed and possibly pissed off for that... but all the time i vented my anger in the way i always do- by saying some very 'practical sounding' things in a very calm and angry way, i thought to myself that i am only like this because i miss and love them so much...

ya they would always be a little late in their timings and a little forgetful of me... but that doesn't mean i love them any less do I? i simply realise i love them all the more... well i got to be sure that at least my parents bother to talk to me... some parents don't. at least my dad who probably given the chance wouldn't want me to come here alone, paid for my expenses and all...

and my mom misses me, and wants to come here to visit me immediately after my exams... silently i don't want her to come alone because i don't want any of them back at home to lose another one in the family for some time... even a while... esp my sister... she's got school... she'll miss my mom... but i really would love company... :)

and that's the reason why i insisted on coming here alone... don't want my mom or dad to spend another 36 hours worth of air plane rides to and fro... i hate to torture the pple i love...

i am starting to miss everyone too much... haha... but i am probably having a good time spelling all these out. it does hurt when you keep it all inside... :) and i miss him too...

haiz... maybe it's the pms... who knows?

how about that?

:) a long long weekend which is rather plagued with alot of assignments to complete but i won't let it get me down!!! :)

would be trying to get to vancouver with fiuts... if they still have got vacancies... haha... well actually i was rather intent on not going... and going with the rest of the singaporeans for the skiing trip... but the estimated cost was underestimated by like 200 sing dollars... so i guess that means no for me... sent an email to fiuts asking them to put me into the vancouver trip (i don't know if they have still got vacancies... *cross fingers*) after i incidentally met Christian on my way back home today... and he convinced me to go to visit the jazz pubs there... haha...

okies i give up... who's going to give up more jazz?

today i met up with the girls from the Christian Students Assoc... was so enlightening and pleasant to have some time with pple who love the Lord so much... it's been a great time... and i was reminising on how God brought me to them to meet with them and get in touch with them... in fact i have been invited to so many home visits that i lost count!!! :)

thank u God...

such a pleasant weekend!!!

and i enjoyed myself so thoroughly i forgot to blog about it periodically... before i forget everything here goes!

saturday i spent my day trying to do my laundry and at night we had dinner at the meeting for the christian students' society welcome dinner, as well as adjourned to kaibun's place... (kaibun is a japanese freshman whom i got to know through cherlyn, who got to know him and his bunch of friends from thailand, taiwan and africa through her friend who stayed at U-Dub last semester!) for thai food cooked by jiro (the thai guy... ya i know his name sounds jap but oh well!)

and then i spoke to him over msn for kinda long... time wasn't a factor then and i don't remember the timing... haha... ;P

and thereafter my family! over the web cam... my mom seems to love seattle from my descriptions already! haha she was so excited over my steals on thursday's rampage...

today's sunday for me and me and cherlyn and rachel agreed to go to the uni presbytarian church (which formally we didn't agree upon but somehow did unexpectedly!) and met gabriel and Christian as well... :) was so nice... to be in the midst of believers once again... in lonely seattle... :)

sunday flew past and it was night when me, leonard, cherlyn, rachel and Christian got to go to a Jazz restaurant to enjoy John Nolte's serenade... :O) with a whole band consisting of the bass, drums, piano, trumpets, trombone, sax, oboe etc... we were watching the people dancing around us and enjoying the food so much! it was so nice...

and then me, cherlyn and rachel were saying that the dancing didn't look too difficult- as a joke... who knew? the next moment a man came up to me and asked me for a dance... i couldn't say no... could I? :) so i did! although a little awkward... i have never tried to dance to jazz before... but it was a nice experience! they said i didn't do too badly... hehe...

most wonderful weekend! although i spent alot on the jazz and dance and dinner... but every cent was worth it... trust me! Christian, i think you got a jazz pub friend here! :)

amazing day!

well i had my retail therapy yesterday as i mentioned and today it felt like a good day to do my laundry and sleep in... so i prayed about it and did. :) thank God i could finally sleep well...

and no i don't look like no party animal ber... *grr*

he said it in front of the other singaporean students when we were making small talk at this gathering just now... in fact reached home not too long ago safely (thanks to my gfs rachel and cherlyn!!!)

and yes someone's a stunner... really.

ate alot of junk... which is terrifying... haiz... got to walk more then.. to keep up! haha... and actually i found another student who's taking all business modules in UDub, Ray. so i guess i would be seeing him around more often! :)

tomorrow would be going to rachel and cherlyn's place for dinner which a bunch of their friends (taiwanese, jap and thai) would be cooking thai food for us...

yay... my room mate just dared me to find a date for the weekend. well i hope so... :( haha silently?

cool. and i go to church on sunday with cherlyn and rachel.

was raving about my cheap deals to my friends just now... they were so surprised to find my finding pillows at one buck each! haha... i think i found my calling... to be a purchasing manager... and why not? i'll be doing what i like to do without my own expense!!!

retail therapy

i went shopping alone today... got myself lost somewhere far away from hall and somehow managed to find my way back by asking the bus driver much later... there was something within me that didn't want to know where i was going... but i guess as much that it would be a good thing to know... was quite fun... getting a little lost. hehe

and so i went to the shopping centre without referring to whatever i had planned and went by the 'hunch'...

:)

divine... just the crazy thing i need to get myself out of the stress at work!

i finally got there after some time... :0) and then on my way back i thought that it would be good because i had planned it... somehow i got confused at the signs of the huge shopping mall and then the 1/2 hour buffer i had was spent and i found this odd looking bus stop where a bus was approaching... i decided to run towards it. it was my bus.

i could have been stuck there for another hour. Thank God.

:0)

bought the formal clothes that i would need for the two presentations i have this quarter. thank God i got them for cheap cheap cheap... or else... i would weep. and got the bathing basket for 1.50 and the pillow i long needed for a buck.

God's been very good to me and been my provider all along. :P

my classes for the week have ended and so today was like my day off. no more slacking and doing silly things anymore... would be trying to catch up on work and do my assignments... as needed...

and do my laundry and drying...

and church activities... tomorrow there's this singaporean students get-together thing... with the ntu students... i guess it's fine... :) cherlyn and rachel i do have for company... :) similarly for church the day after!

fine weekend it would be. not going with fiuts for the shopping trip. don't have to and don't feel like it.

sleep's less in seattle

someone please slap me to sleep... i don't know why i didn't sleep well last night... esp when there were so many classes i attended yesterday... and it should have been mind draining... i never stopped working the whole day but maybe it's the stress i guess...

and you might think why work when you're on exchange? well, it's probably because i kinda expected alot less on my schoolwork and alot more on going out and having fun... oh well... guess i have to learn how to play hard and work hard as well...

but can you imagine that its the first week of school and i have three assignments to hand up next week? and by the means of assignment it's more of the typed-out double-spaced reports...

I seriously need retail therapy man... or i will die.

and possibly alone as well.. or else i might just snap at anyone who comes along...

like today? i went online and spoke to my family but was being such a b**** that i regretted immediately thereafter...

should just make it a policy to only be around people when i am feeling ok... not when i am stressed out... perhaps all i need is some time to myself and then it'll be alright...

right now? I have to constantly be on my toes about the homework and assignments and loads of tests and pop quizzes... goodness the bulk of the work comes from consistent everyday work that's why... unlike in nus where everyone just studies at the end and what you call "pia"...

haiz...

going to walk around later after two hours of class starting from 830am... till 1030am... catching the 1200 noon bus... did i mention that the buses here are rather haphazard in timings? but it's good in a sense... you tend to check out the timings online and get there during the time you want and get back as you had planned... :)

which is divine of course...

am thinking of staying hall over the weekend... don't feel like moving around... *sleepy*

well what do you know? :)

my first class ended in half an hour and i am here, sitting in the computer lab trying to look like a studious person but i know i am really just checking my mails and stuff... not wanting to get back to the hall since it's far and to me, that's not worth the walk... not to mention that i am afraid that my room mates might still be seething from my early waking-ups and alarm clock and moving things around the middle of the night... ok so morning... just so that i can talk to you guys at home in singapore... my 630am would be your 1030pm... i am 16 hours behind... :0)

spoke to my family just now (sadly excluding my sister cause she was asleep) and it was nice... msn is the best thing to come around and i am so glad i don't have to pay for it... :) hehe... my mom was more interested to know whether i have put on! haha... i will try not to let it happen... but with the huge food portions and the orientation lunches... might prove to be a bit of a problem!

though there's one thing good here.. if you get around alot, you get to burn the calories just standing in the cold... which is smart and stupid depends on how you see it... :)

dear's missing me alot... and i finally got to talk to him... good timing to end when he went off to dota and me to school... he'll be going for exchange most prob to berkeley and i don't mind another shopping trip really... haha... *wink*

met another ntu friend from singapore and it's been nice... she and another three of us from nus would be hanging out together... glad i found someone... i invited her to go for the christian students assoc. welcome lunch later as well... openly asked her if she was christian and she is! :) Another prayer answered... or rather, it's being answered with more answers than one...

amen to that and please pray i will keep awake for the rest of the classes! slept few hours last few nights cause of the difference in sleep patterns between me and my room mates... :( but ok la... we watch silly shows together and have fun joking about them...

*yawn*

coffee anyone? (seattle's really the coffee place to be man!)

unnerving first day of class...

it's just one subject and the whole thing of academics here is scaring me to death... we had our syllabus coverage and marks allocation today for just one course and the amount of work i have to put in makes me want to faint... :(

add to this americans who can write well for papers, present well, are creative... God, i'm really at your mercy...

tomorrow comes with it three more classes and argh... *shakes head*

i thought that i could squeeze in some time for a run since i stay so near the gym... but to no avail... haiz... seems being alone and independent doesn't constitute to more discipline and time... haha.. though i did wake up early to go online to meet friends... :) you guys.. ya!

i thought of separating my admin stuff to do at the uni between just now and later... but class finished fast and so i walked around the campus... and did all my admin stuff that i could... and found out the christian students fellowship booth! would be joining them for Bible study tomorrow i guess... :)

they were all very very nice... not at all unfriendly... :)

my room mates are kinda very americanised. unique i would say... but quite openly vulgar and not so try-to-be-nice... which is a good thing and bad... cause there's like no r/s between us except which is needed... oh well.. God grant me the favour of theirs' anyway...

walking in the rain and cold is a very good workout in itself already... i keep trying to tell myself that so i would feel better not exercising... am simply too tired really... :(

got to go meet my prof later in about an hour and a half... and then go for the orientation which the international office has... the singaporean students would be there! yay... haha not that the americans aren't nice... when u meet the nice ones like in my hosts and those in the cf... oh wow... but other than that? hm... well more independent and not so forthcoming... ya.

well it's a new environment. new work style. new work to be done. guess i better get going... tonight would be too shagged to do anything... :(

when in america, adapt like you always could...

:)

the hall facilities are nice! nice cafe, not-too-bad gym (doesn't mean i would frequent it! haha... very lazy nowadays) , though toilets are on alternate floors and my floor has the guys' not the gurls'... the piano's free for me to use anytime... the lounge is cold but user friendly... the study rooms are just outside my room... though staying with two other girls... shouldn't think it be too bad... though yes one of them is starting to gripe about the other...

gotta finish my dinner (which cost me a hefty US 11 bucks...) and then wait awhile before i get a good bath. :) coming back to the room would be a problem though... :( it's cold outside...

*brrrr*

i went to play on the piano just now... christian songs of course... some pple just beared with it... others looked at me and smiled... there's this guy who plays the piano and puts his books under the seat.. got to catch him playing... we could be good friends! haha...

i don't want to move out!

man i don't want to move out of my nice and cosy hosts' home into what amelia called the 'dump'... not that the hall doesn't have facilities and stuff but my hosts have been so nice... so warm and so friendly and encouraging that i would hate to leave them... :(

the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that i have probably imposed enough... and should leave...

i just packed up my bed and folded the washed clothes to pack... now having my last breakfast in the home... english muffins and honeydew with tea to boot... how else am i going to get something like that in seattle again?

oh he would most probably be going to either uni penn or berkeley... haiz... imagine 8 months in a year of 12 months of not seeing the other...

but i don't think that is horrible or sth... everyone should go do what he or she really wants... and not be held back by some childish r/s back home or sth...

so i might just smile and let go...

and hall's a few hours away... give it up for more studying! tomorrow classes start with a bang and 830am's my first class... *bleah*

Mars Hill Church and Uni Presbytarian Church!

it was very enriching and nice... i went for both services and i guess it was a good thing since i had two perspectives on the styles that both churches employ differently!

Mars Hill is more of the youth service sort of thing- most pple there are below 35 and the music is self-composed and rock... more upbeat... though we have occasional hymns done in the rock way here and there...

Uni Pres has more of the anglican like structure which i appreciate to have back in our home church ccr... more like the adults' service but think of the worship session as replaced by the hymns they sing in church...

;)

as for me i still have to make a choice on the churches though i think the uni pres would be more appealing for its proximity to the school and the uni programs they have got for the students... every tuesday, 1000 plus uni students come together to worship and fellowship... don't i think it's just great and sounds very much like vcf... :) just that they always do the corporate thing together...

which sounds fun of course! though now there seems to be some sort of a conflict... hm... i have this orientation thingy for the international students this tues... and then there's this thing... maybe i could go for the orientation and then go off early or something...

Kathryn says i can always offer my help at the church since though huge in organisation, there's always this tendency to see it as the church having so much of a pool of talented pple we don't need to do anything to get things done around the church sort of thing...

:)

we'll see we'll see...

Both pastors were on Jesus' forgiveness of sins and his willingness to be associated with sinners despite everything...

A one liner would go: you gotta recognise your sin of omission cause it leads to all the other sins of purposeful rebellion...

pardon my short post last night!

i had too much to drink i don't think i remember blogging very much in detail... not that i could right now cause i have to go to church in half an hour's time but more of what happened yesterday i guess! :)

1. When shopping we went to the Goodwill which is very much like the red cross except they seell discounted stuff which people donate to rise funds for the charities. So anyone, whether poor or rich can buy their stuff there and donate to charity yet get some great buys...

i got a telephone and lamp for my hall. :) all for just 6US bucks. Thank God i don't have to pay much more! :)

we went to the beach to see the seattle needle last night and there were alot of other people boozing and drinking on the beach... quite happening and not being so crowded like back in singapore was what i appreciate.. cause the beach near my place right now is not downtown!

oh The Producers... you gotta watch it... lots of broadway stuff (it is anyway!) and jokes to make you sit back and laugh... pardon the crude some things here and there though... :)

off to church i go! but first gotta eat my breakfast!

I miss you all girls back in singapore Micah 6:8! and I miss you too daddy, mommy, kenneth and hannah!

new year's day!

oh today was fabulous when i initially thought that i would be spending the time even reading up stuff! i never had the chance to anyway...

in the morning we slacked off and then went shopping in the afternoon followed by catching a movie: The Producers (superbly funny show based on the nazis and stuff which you guys should watch!) and had a mini new year's day dinner with chicken and salad... had wine and strawberries before going out in the cold to catch the fireworks around the seattle needle tower...

Kathryn treated me and amelia to the movie and stuff... was so nice of her since i am not legally able to drink here... 21 is the cut off... and can't go to the bars and enjoy and stuff... haha