did I talk about wednesday?

oh my cell group and I went to the park to have the most enjoyable mid autumn festival I've had in a long long time... on wednesday itself... moon cakes aplenty, fellowship really fun, throwing the sparklers like little toddlers fascinated with things such as fire and sparks... squealing like little kids... screaming like ladies trapped on a chair with mice underneath... oh well, when can you have such opportunities to have such innocent enjoyments?

french oral was fine today thank God! I prayed really hard la... ;p and he didn't disappoint.. perhaps on top of thinking of doing a financial mathematics minor, I should continue with my french till I can speak some fluent french... I don't know anything yet... the road's long... leaving things open... although I have been planning my 'back-up' plans in case things turn here and there...

for now, if I'm to do a three year course in business, then would be minoring in financial mathematics and majoring in finance... if I have the honour of taking the honours as God would wish... then on top of these two things, would be continuing with my french yupz..

that is... if God permits... then my french would still be automatically alloted to me still under the LEP programme... next sem... otherwise... God I know where you want me to be... :)

slept in class... again... slack again...

when's it going to end? huh? seems like everyone's getting so hard working and here am I actually this crazy girl who's not doing any work... yet and having tons of tests but not preparing for it... cause I have been sick a little recently and have not been having enough sleep for that matter... overate during lunch and had a light nap during the next class after that (pun intended) and man do I need coffee but I refuse to be subjugated to a thing called caffeine... sigh... stubborn me needs to find the energy, not so much the motivation.... and the lightly unmotivated me needs tons of help from the mind-alert department and careful time management... alongside no procrastination.... but it's not happening... and I'm getting worried...

no doubt I'm falling in love more and more with my Saviour everyday... and that keeps me sane and going... but God, please remove all stress from my head (although there isn't any to even keep me moving and i need it...) and help me to like... start studying?

my mom asked me to go to wild wild wet with her on friday and I was supposed to have so many family activities before and after that... how so I would ask? I'm studying and I'm not that free? although who would refuse if they could...

Ahhhh!!!! it's so nice!!!!

I loved the last few episodes of the heavenly sword and the dragon sabre... finally I see what I want to see... zhao min and wu ji together as should have been a while back anyway... credits to the wonderful acting and the good looking people acting in it as well... yes and I know that the guys would be screaming zhao min everywhere I go... her name's Jia Jing Wen btw... and yes I quite love her character... but I still find the Zhou Zhiruo character a little more lasting in impression after a longer while... what's so enthralling really... is the fact that one so innocent could have changed so much to become evil and one so shrewd and sharp would fall as a willing prey to love and be rather tortured and tormented sometimes.... yet she just takes whatever in her stride...

I have to start studying already... oh no... and I had better start soon... time's running out and no more watching of vcds already until the dec holidays... do I read myself?

heh... time to go for class... will be late... and would be going for fellowship teaching... wonder how the turn out would be like... since so many people I know aren't going already.. oh well, God you provide and you know... ;p

Amazed...

Thank God I passed that insight xp test somehow without more than slight glitches! goes to show how God can work his way through things when he answers prayers... ;P

That being done, I'm geared up to study for my marketing quiz and french oral test... as well as the up-coming fna test.... oh well, nothing seems too hard now that I know I can count on him... ")

and yes I know it's like the end of the holidays before I'm getting started on the studying... but better late than never, beats not having the mood to study for the tests and yet trying to act optimistic when one really isn't...

Peace within... true happiness?

I had better start to organise my disorganised room and schedule now that I feel like it... otherwise, there's such a thing as procrastination...

why? why? why?

why does a break spurn so much anguish? why must a break bring about such stress? why must time to play translate to time for work? and why must I even carry on with this s***? complaints aplenty, unfulfilled dreams, cotton candy, letting out some steam.... seems to sum up all I have to say about this break... definitely not enjoyable, absolutely not unbearable... just adds up to plain boredom and a sense of incapability to control one's own life... or even incapacity... who knows?

baking's fun so far, but the insight xp test I've got to take stinks... it takes eternity for me to go through it and I don't have eternity to waste away... readings are piling up and I haven't studied for my french test nor marketing quiz... I seem to be a goner... God... have mercy on your lazy, but faith-full servant...? and oh my project.. nothing seems right up to now..

terrified, mortified, absolutely stupified...

just had some time to watch the dvd- a movie on the great John Nash... "A Beautiful Mind" It made me think some about why some people seem to love it so much yet cannot but misunderstand the concepts behind the ideas of John Nash. Having heard alot about it myself, I was determined to find out, and understand the contexts behind it... Schizophrenic people tend to be brilliant and I tend to lean towards that idea that perhaps it happens because many brilliant people tend to be looked down upon for their inability to act 'right' in front of others... and as well as wrongly 'looked-down-upon' for their brilliance... they work all the time not because of their inability to resist workaholism but because of their ability to work... agreed? some of us cannot stand the sight of work and some of us do. But let us not mistake being able to work as using work as a solution to impending problems or a way to get out of society's scrutiny... for those who can work, work... for those who work for other reasons other than loving your work... go soak your head...

and love as such so great exists... I'm amazed... for John Nash's wife Alicia... it must have been a heck of years of constant madness-driven living... the baby, the husband... whom she married for love and chose to take care of for love... drove me to reconsider love, really... true, it's something that can never be subjected to equations but something that's believable and causes people to think illogically... although naturally... and yes, it's true, that no matter your oddities... there's someone out there who loves you and God has provided that someone for a special you... like John Nash... for Alicia Nash.

simple... and I shan't say more...

the past week has been draining.... emotionally and physically albeit the lack of real physical activities... outings aplenty... coffee flows and eating sprees... took the entire 'life' out of me... I hope to reduce those... not because of fear of getting fat... but fear of what it does to me... I may or may not be schizophrenic... and everyone wouldn't know about themselves as well... after all, who knows your deepest, darkest secrets and the inclinations of your hearts within? so I wouldn't know if I'm reacting to anything in my life... unless a sane person comes my way... devoid of the world... for the world is insane... and no one in it can be sane... theoratically... somehow the exposure to insanity has polluted the purity of sanity...

God, help me...

of all the little gritty details...

my friends left out when the holidays was starting... and ending... and... I have to be content with one more week of school... a whole week... I'm not exactly your know-it-all sort of girl when it comes to such things... but hopefully... when it comes to the curriculum... I'm the one for asking... haha... after I cram for the exams that is... now... no?

sigh... and one more week of school seems a little hard to take... been making plans to go out etc all week since last week... and haven't been intent in my studying and doing of work... leaving things to the last minute and all... pretty much unlike me... but oh well... who can blame a poor soul waiting to be silently and slowly butchered by the thoughts of not having more holidays than this?

a likely lesson from an unlikely source...

crude words on a platter, blood and pus all splattered... a hedious sight, oh what a fright... i'm afraid i couldn't sleep that night...

ok ok... rhymes and lameness aside... although Harold and Kumar go to White Castle was essentially a gross-out, low budget, low-with-regards-to-class film... it certainly opened up my eyes to see the world around me... who doesn't keep searching for something they've dreamt of all their lives? who ain't afraid when the going gets tough? who has to stand up and learn how to fight for their rights? who doesn't come out the strong after he's been through all that turmoil? who doesn't feel he has let down his parents in some way? who isn't scared at the prospects of losing your identity to work in the future?

though seemingly a wreck of a movie... I personally enjoyed thinking it through... in layman terms... *smile*

calamity versus 'calm'mity...

which do you prefer? that set me thinking... of course, no one in their right state of mind would even consider the former... but take some time to brood over it... is it really? I mean, look at the number of man-made disasters around us... be it miniature in size or megalomanic in nature... every man wants to do it 'himself'... who needs God, really?

Seek ye first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these would be given unto you as well... nothing you yearn for nor work towards would amount to anything... meaningless, meaningless... everything is meaningless... toil, beauty, and all the aphrodisiacs in the world wouldn't make u a happier person...

forgive the solemn entry... on the contrary, I'm simply contented with life... for now... ironic but true...

are you teaching me to worship Lord?

I have been amazed at the number of worship 'assignments' I've been asked to do... be it leading in worship during cell groups and leading during youth service... God's teaching me to be in his presence once again... and I'm not sighing! I have been quite relieved lately with peace in my heart... and exercise has gone out of my head now... ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!! NO!!!!! I need it... seriously getting flabby and fat... help me, someone... anyone...

your love has lifted me high again now i'm free to live

well... three straight days of christian fellowship... how much better can it get? ;P just as I was feeling so down and out because of certain issues in my life needing tending to.. i found him in the midst of the furole... sending people to me and sending me out to people... may i never forget the grace of God...