honestly... i am so going to roll back...

been eating and eating humongous pieces of chocolate and pineapple upside down cakes and snacks of rich chocolate cookies and scones...

i can feel my arms getting larger and double chin getting up... yeew...

how? how? someone tell me...

and i don't see why the girls here can eat so much without getting fat. it's so not fair.

:(

it's been comforting to be reading the word and looking from another perspective

took my break between classes and read the word after studying for my test later... :)

going in for 4 hours of gruelling courses... and then back home to study for tomorrow's sure test... sheesh...

oh well...

life goes on... as in Josh's nick... i so totally agree..

i have been collecting those philosophical thoughts and statements and it's been rather enlightening though i was careful to only take those up that didn't contradict with the faith i guess... :)

which again, stems from my own sets of beliefs of what's in and what's not... and from my own perspectives...

i should take a look at the ordinary...

don't need to look for paradise... i am next to angels in disguise! :)

thanks cousin, you made my day of being a big brother to me and being there for me... never backing down even when i seem like i am so busy... :)

and ian's friend kevin gave us a super huge treat yesterday... coolz... at Tin Room restaurant. the prawns and steak was fantastic... hehe

we finally confirmed our New York trip for a fraction of the cost (okies so it isn't all that cheap but it was the cheapest we could find!) :) i feel really good now.. the extras can go back into the account and don't have to be spent. :) manhatten and madison square... here i come! :)

as for the huge blank in my hols? maybe i should get down to baking and cooking again! hehe... who knows? i might start sales... *wink*

no internship, no job, no future...

i am so bummed... i didn't get the internship i wanted and i should have applied for the internship here... sheesh... they would be paying me so much more than the peanuts here.. though i might have to run into alot of complications regarding the student visa and the working permit thingy...

bummed at so many things... like random thoughts that ran through my head which ian talked me out of... seems rather rational to me to think like that but he says it's not my fault from a guy's viewpoint...

i feel relieved.

or do i? haiz. that's for me still to find out...

anyway we've booked our new york trip finally i think... sheesh it's going to cost a bomb - but thankfully we're only going to stay there for 5 nights... no more nor less... cause any more would be so exorbitant i am so going to cry at the cost...

okies so i have got a meeting tomorrow i need to attend and a marketing test i need to study for... then study for the quiz i have on tuesday before completing my finance assignment that is due on wednesday...

goodness...

i feel like i just need to tahan a little more and then get back to home sweet home...

even trip planning is stressful...

getting bummed by p and g is stressful...

thinking about spending even more in hong kong for that exchange program is stressful...

i need to go home and find respite...

while there leaves me alot of work to continue at...

i can have some respite knowing that today i have at least been done with the readings that i have got for next week... just need to study for my marketing test on monday, prepare for management and marketing project presentations, and do the finance assignment...

three more final papers to go...

and i want to go play the piano now... and then talk to my parents over the phone and then bathe and get out with friends... eat dinner and hang out.

mundane but cool.

last night left me thinking really hard... but i am glad i did. :) it's been enlightening and more comforting...

lover of my soul...

i was feeling really horrible when i went into a respite with God... and spoke to my christian friends... thanks jon for talking me out of things.. you're always a sunshine! :)

polaroid cameras everywhere...

wow my lecturer for management had part two coming after the barbies and dolls... and he was so enthusiastic about it that he took everyone of us a picture with his instant cameras (all 15 of them dating back to 1970s) and pass those to us...

probably as a very fond memory of his class... i would keep that picture dearly for sure... :)

chapter 11 - concentrate on that. :)

what a blatant hint!

slept for 11 hours.

and felt like a new woman when i got up from bed... though feeling a whole load fatter... i was a whole load happier, and much much less lethargic... not to mention, having a high resistance to the cold and all when i got out of the dorm room... :)

why? cause we had few hours of sleep every night in portland and i didn't know it was going to be all that bad until i honestly fell into bed last night...

two and a half more weeks of school for me... like 9 more days of school... and then hols, and then home sweet home... :)

yes i do miss home, but not the food nor way of life. i miss the people i love. my family, and him :) and hanging with friends i adore as well...

okay here's a little more...

:)

after the blasts of arctic wind we managed to get ourselves up to walk ten blocks and more to Jimmy Mak's... where Winard Harper was playing... his band of an african percussionist, himself being the drummer, a 21-year-old trumpetist called Josh, a saxaphonist, a pianist who's smashing... was the kind of thing you'd like to listen to when you want to have a good time i guess... :) the music was amazing...

we went back and found cherlyn and darius...

morning came and we had our breakfast of bagels and cream cheese from the counter in our inn... (yes we didn't stay at some posh place) and headed off to listen to the PYTO youth orchestra- Anthony Medici Quartet... at Jake's Grill of the Governer Hotel... the quartet was made up of youth of ages ranging from 13-20... sheesh... they were smashing... although i would imagine that they might be slighted as nerds when you first get to meet them without knowing what great experts they are in jazz...

afternoon came and we hung out at downtown going into random shops and stuff...

had to rush back to get our Dee Dee Bridgewater tickets which ian had conveniently left in our hotel room...

after the lunch of burritos... 10 burritos for a cool price of $7.90... beat that man... at Taco Bell

Dee Dee Bridgewater was amazing... she's so sultry and smooth with the audience! her song of "Girl Talk" was humourous although a little X Rated(must be 21 to get in) and her songs were mostly in french, which gave me no excuses not to try to read up a little more on french the moment i get back to singapore... it was embarrassing not knowing all the lyrics but things like "Je suis" and "Joyeux" and what nots... "J'ai Deux Amours" got to get that CD...

anyhow... after which we went to the Champion's Bar at the Marriot Waterfront to catch Jake Cot... he's amazing with the bass guitar.. was playing chords on those! imagine how horrible normal people like us who go one note on the bass guitar would feel... sheesh...

of course there was this drunkard who requested for the jazz band to play hotel california or sth... he verbally abused the band as boring... goodness... the bouncer had to chase him out...

The midnight jam session back at the Governer's Hotel was smashing! we had Susan Werner the singer and pianist... the french dudes- musicians of Dee Dee Bridgewater, and the young talents from the youth orchestra and many other random artists... goodness... it was mind blowing to be standing next to famous people... haha... call me jazzawood sticken! (pun to Hollywood)

the next day was shopping at lloyd's centre... before going for the Jazz last Call at Champion's Bar again... "Go by Train"

I have heard of Lloyd's centre through my marketing class... but then again, i missed out on that example in my marketing test and now that i have seen would come to memory more easily i guess... :) the ice skating rink was tempting but not my priority for now... :)

we hadn't enough for the day so we returned on monday with our bags in tow from checking out of the hotel before 12 and shopped till we ran to catch our train which happened to be two hours late (similar to our ride there) though the speed was a little faster than the trip to portland... the train was crawling to portland... anyone would have ran faster than the train. Honest.

but for now? I am broke and tired. need finances... anyone who could offer should let me know... and erm, i have got coffee so it shouldn't be too bad...

except that next week is going to be a shiong week ahead man...

but that's after tomorrow's marketing field trip to a restaurant!

sweet.

woo hoo! (most funtastic holiday in a long time!)

went to portland and had a smashing time of jazz, shopping and hanging out with cherlyn, ian and darius... sweet.

on thursday after my dinner with ian which he cooked up, we enthusiastically got to union station and waited for mark... to no avail. it was horrible. the arctic blast had been going around and it got seattle for a while. it was darn cold that night and we wait for almost three hours circling the whole area nearly seven times on high heels. i almost died.

and then we went back to my dorm room and tried to find out why the train didn't arrive as planned... and mark called... so we got onto the very next bus that came by my place and got to union station to grab mark within ten minutes, get him to the bus and back to ian's place... stopped by my place to grab my stuff which i had packed, fortunately...

in the morning we all woke up late from talking late into the night and then ran to the station.. mark sent us off... :)

train was late, and so we had to wait for two whole hours, had time to buy our lunch from the supermarket nearby in the international district and went to this bass shop that was closed... boy were the guys disappointed.

got onto the train and sat for the longest time since the train had tons of delay...

finally got there, walked like miles to our hotel, checked in and found refuge in the warmth since the arctic blast has been here over the weekend to give us strong winds, snow on monday when we were leaving and freezing weather that was so chillin'...

lloyd's centre's way cool. it has an indorr skating rink and movie theatres and many eateries. much like those at home, but tons larger! 4 of us singaporeans just felt so at home... :)

when i am in a more sober mood i might write more...

tears.

i was so touched when a huge bouquet of flowers came through my door when i least expected it. man i was in my sleep wear... the idea wasn't there. i was feeling depressed. and the flowers came...

three dozens.

i so love carnations and tiger lilies now... they look so sweet... all pink and red. must have cost a bomb... now i feel bad...

and i finally figured out why ian wanted to cook dinner tomorrow... he wanted to ask me out to a pal-pal tuesday valentine's dinner... but then we were both busy...

so i guess he's cooking for me tomorrow night... :) and he got everything ready already. he's cool man. my pal. :)

i screwed up.

my finance test and marketing test... and finance assignment...

haiz...

it is pure pride? or do i merely want to get out of the testing system?

ha. i left early this test again.

it was much harder than the last one i would admit.

but thank God i targeted the right parts to study... he removed so much from the syllabus that i would classify as important and integral to the chapters that i was a little lost there as to what to study and what not to...

so i left to print my assignments due today and tomorrow...

and right now i need to do some research on the marketing project. and then possibly for management... before more tests come my way and i feel compelled to study again... yeeks!

and study two chapters of finance for next week cause i can't do any work whilst holidaying in portland can i? *wink*

how cool is that?

alicia's boyfriend is the cousin of US swimmer Amanda Beard. the olympic swimmer.

my roomie's bf is way cool... and sounds to me like they've patched up after he appeared with flowers in his hands his afternoon and whizzing her off... *wink*

a pal's a pal and a palette always a palette!

trust ian to coin the term pal-ette for me... :)

anyways been a fine v day so far since i have finished with class (notice no plural) and yes i have to get back to studying for my midterm tomorrow and finish up the assignment i am so obligated to finish by tomorrow or i can go kick the pail...

but before all of that...

management class was so nice! my Prof Buddy brought in a whole load of dolls (bratz, barbie, my scene, little people etc) and we got divided into groups and did analysis on the dolls and how they're being marketed and stuff...

:)

so fun!

and then my team mates yuki and denny were like uh...

cause they don't have sisters to refer to... and fifa, red alert, counter strike kinda sums up what they used to do when they were kids...

oh well... so i had to present... :)

i didn't mind of course!

everyone's going lovey-dovey... the weather's great for huddling...

and yesh i have a date with my books... after my lunch with ian... :)

frozen hands in snow!

woo hoo it's snowing! due to the sudden drop in temperature... no wonder i was a little chilled last night.. didn't know it had been snowing all night... and i had been in shorts and didn't cover myself up in blankets enough...

haha... cool!

now going for my class... just thought i should drop by and share the joy... today's going to be a long long day though... lots of studying to do and lots of assignments to finish...

what's gotten into me?

i can't concentrate on my finance class and kept thinking about other stuff... i usually always am on the ball for sure for finance... and i am not too familiar with this topic he touched on today...

i told shane i didn't feel like today was school day and he told me i had better get to every class cause i paid so much to come here... or rather, my parents did, not me.

so i was sitting there and weird, outlandish sentences start coming into my head and i go wow... how did i do that?

maybe it's yesterday's writing of the paper... the logic and sense starts coming in...

you mean i used to not have sense?

yeah it's these stuff... weird. like some kind of a life 'expert' came and got me big time...

so here goes some...

:)

"I'm american, I'm not dumb, just ethnocentric" (addressing ideas that they're dumb- thanks a whole lot to a special someone who made me think this way)

Don't tell a fool he's a fool, he might start taking you seriously

I'm certain there's an uncertainty

You'll never know more than what you try to know, so quit trying?

You know you aren't in love when you think of strategies and portfolio managements, but then if you don't, you fall out of love!

People say you're dumb when you're in love, trust me, they're dumb too.

Guys: you know you're in love when you stop gripping about shopping, and then again, you could be gay.

the most honest thing you can tell someone, is that you're usually dishonest

you can't quit when you haven't started on something

you can't lose what you never had (sounds familiar? yeah try how to lose a guy in 10 days)

when everything seems to go against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it (from some calendar i had in secondary school)

the only way to feel fat, is to be fat

love is illogical. so how can it be psychological or physical or spiritual?

the person whom you love the most, is the one who irritates you the most

eat eat eat... eat...

sing the title to 'dream dream dream".

it should make you feel alot more cheesy than you should! :)

yesh i have been pigging it out... and mommy's telling me she is surprised i haven't appeared larger on the web cam... oh but surely fats don't just have themselves placed on the face! of course i am constantly praying against any form of invasion... :)

but everyone likes my hair! amazing...

cool.

and someone said i am more sharp and cutting in my remarks than back at home... sure that's not your own perception? *squint eyes*

how to get a good fittin' pair of jeans...

1. find an off-sized pair of jeans which is a size too large

2. put it in the dryer and watch it shrink

3. put it on, it should feel tight

ALL of my clothes have been shrinking... goodness... soon i wouldn't have anything left to wear...

A prayer by the late Robert James St. Clair

We especially comment to your Son, Jesus Christ the Healer,
Those ravanged by pain and fighting for life, at home, and in hospitals.

We ask for the miracle of new sight to see matters differently,
A new flame in the heart to keep hope burning,
and the miracle of wisdom to know what to hope for.

We ask for the miracle of ministry, so that we attend to another's aches and pains before our own are cured.
We ask for the miracle of a sense of humor, so that we can regale friends with our symptoms without boring them to death.
We ask for the miracle of courage and will power so that we don't accept death one minute before its time.

And lastly we pray for the miracle of breath and Spirit;
I pray that you, Holy Spirit, will move gently as a breeze among us just now.

Breathe into thr dust of our being the breath of life again.
Through Christ our Lord,
Amen.

hm... a new love.

i found this hillsongs website that allowed me to get all the lyrics of whatever songs they've written and i started coping them into a folder and sang them... :) it was rather rejuvinating...

i think i am falling in love with God all over again...

been at the table the whole day and tried to finish my work but to no avail... somehow i am not all that worried.. which is scary... haha...

so much to do... so much to do... (if anyone can still remember the skit kenny directed years and ages ago and there was Jason, going so much to do, so much to do... )

feels like a sunday to me...

the days have been a little mixed up... i thought thursday was friday and etc... which is good because there's always a day psychologically to aid you...

and keep you happy... :)

Hammer Jazz...

Tom Collier on the vibraphone, Marc Seales on the piano, Doug Miller on the strings, and John Bishop on the drums...

very very very fantastic... marc seales is a professor in the Udub school of music... one of the two songs in windows that you input into your computer is written by him ages ago... he's still young and probably one of the youngest professor you've got around...

:) and i got to watch him as a treat to ta-haning so much this week... :)

the jazz they composed the played was so intriguing my mouth fell open throughout the 80 min concert...

i need to be less obnoxious, less in your face, more forgiving and more nice. things i have been and never been in before... God help me...

but i get discouraged over this easily.. don't keep it within.. let me know and let me learn...

cut my hair short.

was beginning to think that long hair is boring so i snipped it all... haha

and now i am left with the straight hair straight cut... which makes me look very different... i think i look more intelligent though... haha

we went to design simon's t shirt today since he cooks such nice salmon for us the other time we designed this shirt for him that said simon's salmon and it has the chinese character for fish on it... haha... so funni...

but spent alot of time on it la...

and i haven't touched my hw... dang... got two assignments and a midterm due next week...

and i haven't touched my readings and hw due for after my portland trip cause i don't have the time to study during which...

and i have been eating like a piggie...

going to the concert of Udub's music professor in charge of the school of music later after north indian cuisine for dinner! yay...

got to seriously study and do my laundry soon... very soon...

bUMP This!

WHOA... that drummer rocks man... everett james... he endorses the drums... the drums come for free...

All from Bump Kitchen...

went to Highway 99 and hung out after the hectic week this week... oh well... guess i have this knack of having a hippier (if you call it) lifestyle here... the heck it and go...

the bassist was wicked too... man...

basically those two.. the rest weren't so outstanding in comparison i guess... it's horrible when you've got more talented friends as musicians and then you're good but they're darn good...

heard the drummer for Doctor Funk's sticken with cancer... sometimes... life's short.

oh and america's labs have the latest... eating non fatty foods do not do anything for your health...

efficient with a streak of scariness...

like how can i even imagine buying something i didn't intend to buy?

i went to tiger tiger which alicia said had a sale almost storewide... there were a couple of times that i wanted to buy the gowns there... but then... nah i didn't think it was worth the trouble to get it sent back...

so i dropped by the sport shop.

dang.

i saw this head racket which i have been meaning to buy for like the longest time... and it costs 350 in singapore... but over a hundred here... so i got it.

right... so where am i going to put it huh? i keep asking myself...

but it's a head.... a head! made in austria!!! :)

and yesh i am done with the midterms and tests this week... raring for more man... bring it on! next week's there more... trust me there's much more...

and i want to just stay in the hostel and study hard... but when you have got friends who don't think that would be too good an idea? er... you kinda don't get to... which is bad...

off to go wash up and head downtown... shop for ian's stuff.. and get early to the pub for once... for once! sheesh... Bump Kitchen...

how come i don't feel good enjoying? it's always like that after the exams... too stoned to do anything... haha

can i not be subjected to such torture?

physical torture that would be... since well... i don't know how to write something for two whole hours without stopping and the questions were so darn hard i needed to puke my milk and waffles which i had emphatically eaten to satiate my immense hunger...

but for now i am free... :) until next week's midterm... again...

same old game... same old game...

well... what do you know?

i kinda browsed through my notes whilst talking to him... was so nice to have a nice good chat with him finally... :)

and i am glad he doesn't think i am the needy sort of girl... haha... just too independent but he's gotten used to it. he should anyway.

okies so tonight's going to be an early night again! hehe... but more for the right and wrong reasons... right that tomorrow's test would be in the early morning and i had better have the tenacity for it man... alertness of mind.. everything...

wrong ... oh ok... maybe not so wrong... but the shopping and pubbing sounds good... ok so no shopping... but i want to do something drastic to my hair... it's having split ends... something i never was familiar with until the dry weather here made it otherwise... oh well... no wonder people do the afro thing... they don't have to care about split ends whatsoever... sheesh...

you're really going copenhagen huh... :(

and i have been having apple pies and chocolate cookies at night... late night... sheesh girl, whatever happened to the dieting? dumped. that's what.

goodness me.

one more to go darling...

darling sophie, it's just one more... :)

one more midterm to get over... and before you know it... you're done!

ha ha i hope i am not done for though... :(

one more one more one more one more...

oh i saw peipei's no no jo jo website... so nice! her kids are so so handsome... gosh now i really want to come home to see them...

it's russell peters all the way man! so far i spoke to josh in nz and he's watched it... ian duh... he introduced it to me... yong, yuliang, roolin all watched it... oh and dustin too... haha....

china man china man... (spider man theme) wears chopsticks across his chest and shoots noodles off his wrists... throws stale fortune cookies at the crooks and when opened says: "You go to jail, bad boy!" (think hong kong accent)

spoke to emelia just now... was so nice to have someone to talk to back home... aiyoh i realised all my friends whom i can share stuff with and all are indonesian chinese girls... roolin, emelia, adelia (my best friend)... haha... maybe i got lost in shipment...

for now... study study study!!!

huge chocolate cookie!!!

woo hoo... huge chunks of chocolate in the huge cookie... the perfect way to end my day... :)

would be released from midterms end of week... the perfect way to end my week...

just sent in the noc application (2nd one)... hope it would be the perfect way to end my nus studies...

we (me and ian) wanna record some sounds for free at the meany hall of performing arts... sounds like the perfect way to end our seattle stay...

i wanna cut my hair this week... sounds like a perfect excuse to spend the money but i wanna do something out of the blue... otherwise... trust me it sounds like a nose piercing is coming...

i am still gaining weight but what the heck.

maybe i am not not perfect.. someone else just is not perfect...

shopping round 2? nah.... ian wants to get a new bag and some berms to play sports in... weather's getting so warm... 15 degrees... imagine...

and i need too... i need to play some sports or lose my sense of kinestatics...

tough.

and i almost collapsed due to the amount of work that i had to do...

i mean, who wouldn't? with so much to do? but then i thought to myself, hey girl... you would have survived really well back in singapore you know... what happened? your resistance's gone awry?

yeah, i should think so... and my body temperature has been weird... like i could go out in the cold cold cold and not feel cold... i am so dreading what's going to happen when i eventually get back to singapore... yeeks!

sleepy are my eyes... have studied for my marketing check.. didn't miss out any details now... have to get my own back or else i would fail this subject... sheesh... then again if that really happens... it's two modules for my special term then... and throw in the sobbing then... since that would jeopardize my planning to take a minor... :(

two more midterms this week before thursday's Bump Kitchen... comeon... you can do it sophie!

argh.

no pop quiz???

the unexpected happened for the expected unexpected... there was no pop quiz... but i still wouldn't count my studying till late last night as wasted... after all it's included in the midterm this coming thurs... i had better get to studying... :(

snap went the little fingernail one day...

and snap went the little fingernail... i was taking my book out of my bag when i heard a snap and yes... it was there... on the floor... after all the buffing and fluffing... it's gone... my poor poor nail...

and i was seeking some company when ian said he didn't have dinner.. ha... what a joy. he came over to the hall and we had dinner... before i went to the gym...

and called shane i did... before i studied... *grr* he never tells me when his classes are on... and i keep calling him at the wrong times... sheesh... when i called again he was having his project meeting... to which i heard like edwin's and eugene's voices... haha... teasing him of course... he asked me to call again... i was exasperated. call again? no way i got to study... and i had the background of "anytime dear! anytime... " gee you guys... after being attached and all, sense no change in you! haha... which is good of course... ;P

oh i forgot to add...

the weather's been getting so warm these days... can just wear my long sleeves and get around... nothing else... but bringing it around for the night though... there's a lack of clouds to keep the heat in so the nights are crazily different in temperature with the day...

can you imagine, i don't need no blanket at night anymore... and my body threatened to perspire... at night... yeeks!

i don't know, really...

whether to continue being in that environment where i know that even if i stayed on, nothing new would come out of it cause my brain was quite dead even before i went for the test...

the finance test, that would be it.

haiz... well i have tried my best i would say... and i know the competition in class is crazy but i definitely don't wanna be seen as a supposed 'hao lian' when all i needed was a breather... have been a little dizzy lately... and i think it's due to my weird timings of sleep during the weekends as opposed to my weekdays...

thank God i wrote down alot of the formulas i had in the textbook into the formula sheet.. which he allowed... somewhat like a cheat sheet... but then i knew how to do it from another perspective.. which came out to be the same i guess...

my concepts were all a blur... cause have been studying for so many tests... this is not my best form for sure... but if finance succeeds to be better in results, then i think i would most definitely choose finance over marketing... take an entrepreneur minor or project managment minor.... and graduate...

it's becoming clearer... the path... thank God... :)

ouch.

my marketing assignment is in jeopardy cause i don't know what to do for it as i have lost the paper containing all the info i need. got to get the info from my friends today in marketing class.. if you call them friends... they didn't even want to help me out by telling me the marketing stuff...

and the assignment's due today.

dang.

i studied for the wrong section of marketing. whole 4 chapters of study for nothing... got to continue the druggery on tues... thank God i end early on tuesday...

today's going to be a long long day... finance midterm... and i have yet to study it... going to right now...

tomorrow's the quiz for management..

wed is the assignment due for marketing and the midterm...

Thursday is my management midterm.

thursday is the day we go funk the town pubs... :)

alright... what a week huh?

next week's op management mid term...

plus two assignments... *grr*

the seahawks lost.

ouch. hah. actually i did care until the overhype was too much for me to take...

on my way to church i passed the ghost town of seattle.. no one was out, stores were closed, everyone in hall was watching abc sports... and i knew church would be empty as well...

but it was the best service i have ever attended.. what other sermon would be more apt than that preached by Jesus?

We did Matthew 5-7 and all the pastor did was to read it out emphatically... that's it. the whole thing. i think i didn't mention that he memorized the whole thing... that's amazing...

and the songs touched me so much... every time i get to UPC i get so ministered to...

met this canadian guy who just came back from indonesia for his mission training in YWAM... he was so ministered to he wants to go back to minister and love the muslims there. Thank God.

and ian and I spoke to the music coordinator in church... think we're going to join the music team somehow now... and i need to buy a recorder... u know those noisy things we used to play in school? well they integrate it into church music so nicely i am amazed... we need to do something about that... :)

"How Majestic is Your Name" Kari Medina (the music coordinator in church)

(Women) O Lord, our God
(Men) How majestic is your name
(repeat)
(All) O Lord, our God; O Lord, our God

When I consider the heavens, the moon and the stars,
O, how can it be you are mindful of us?
And yet you have crowned us with glory and power
And granted dominion over all of the work of your hands

"When It's all been Said and Done" Jim Cowen

When it's all been said and done,
There is just one thing that matters:
Did I do my best to live for truth?
Did I live my life for you?

When it's all been said and done
All my treasures will mean nothing
Only what I've done for love's reward
Will stand the test of time

Lord, your mercy is so great
That you look beyond our weakness
And find purest gold in miry clay
Making sinners into saints

I will always sing your praise
Here on earth and ever after
For you've shown me heaven's my true home;
When it's all been said and done,
You're my life when life is gone.

"Walk Your Road" Nathan and Christy Nockels

Dusty feet tired from walking, but you have beautiful feet
And you walked those roads, and you gave hope to me.
Calloused hands tired from working, but you have beautiful hands
And the wounds therein have given life to me.

And I want to know your beauty, to hold it here in my heart.
Oh Lord, of only I could make my road look like your road,
If I could love the way you love.
If your word in my heart was the only thing I used to fill me up,
I want to place my feet where the wounded walk,
And where you learned to love, no matter what the cost,
I want to go, I want to walk your road.

A broken heart for the wounded, and yours is the most beautiful
Looking past our faults and dying to meet our need.
Weeping eyes for the sinner, there's nothing more beautiful,
And Lord, I want the passion of those tears.

dammit i gained weight.

shit. i hate this. first my being sick, then eating much because of i don't know what... it's been getting to me... haiz...

sophie sophie sophie... why the gorgings non-gladsome tidings be?

spoke to his sister online just now... was kinda weird and funny... haha... interesting as well no doubt.

when the days stretch on...

the daylight over here has been increasing in length! you can just feel it when you look out of the window and yeeks! it's still bright! usually it would be pitch dark...

and then so i have been trying to get adjusted to the weird inclinations of the weather... the nice daylight days come with horrendous rain and wind storms which you never get to see in singapore... with the trees bending so horribly low you would think it might just break...

was watching the news yesterday and saw not to my horror though that one of my school's buildings had fallen through a little... well it's old. and yes the weather has been weird... ian said that the next few days would be warmer... and said darn. i mean, what's wrong with warmth? then again... his idea of warmth would be like a degree increment or so from our usual 3-6 degrees...

and then my days have been disorientated.. with waking up late and all... yeeks... ian, you're bad influence! haha...

and then we had a nice time playing the piano in the piano room and singing... the jazz away man... he's so darn good with the piano... yeeks... well no wonder since he has his own professional band and alvin did say he's a killer pianist... i would agree!

i would do anything to sing for the band... haha... trust me... jazz is so much better to sing to...

just that i regret my nasal sounding voice just now... yeeks.. got to drink my honey and get well! to sing... who knows? :)

shane said he wouldn't mind to consider coming to noc with me... if i do plan on going next year... hm... we'll see about that one.. hopefully though! :) it would be good for our resume building honestly...

wow. that was fast.

all it took was for mark to ask me whether the station at which he would be arriving at in seattle was safe at night. and i asked him if he was alone... so i suggested going to pick him up with ian and so on... seems we're going to jazz places right after... all on a thursday night that's going to happen just before the portland trip... cool outrightly.

:)

can i kill myself?

they called me up for an interview. i had forgotten to check my email this whole week. what the hell. I am so so pissed with myself... so near yet so far.. haiz... God's will... of letting me know I can make it... but it's not his will now... *boo hoo hoo*

it's 6th Feb. when i would be having tons of exams. how to? i ask you? they can't even see how i would react to whatever questions they would ask me...

i feel so crushed... really crushed...

been eating and shopping to destress...

and came back to a letter from the housing board that i have yet to pay 300 bucks to them...

weird.

anyway went to nordstrom's rack and ross with roolin... and got some fantastic buys though most were from nordstrom... if i had the budget would have settled for the armani suits they have got there... super heavily discounted... though still costing in the hundreds, but not the thousands at least!

ate my dinner at johnny rockets... and ate again another dinner in the hall... cause my sandwich was going bad... haiz... sophie sophie sophie... don't gorge so much!

she told me to write the book on how to shop with a budget. cause we both spent about the same amount of money but i got like thrice the amount of things she's got. oh she's really going to kill me... ha... too bad i got an eye for things! :)

this is just what i need. thanks to jasmine.

Without prayer we become deaf to the voice of divine love and become confused by the many competing voices asking for our attention When we try to become very still, we often find ourselves so overwhelmed by our noisy inner voices that we can hardly wait to get busy and distracted again. Our inner life often looks like a banana tree full of jumping monkeys! But when we decide not to run away and stay focused, the monkeys may gradually go away because of lack of attention, and the soft gentle voice calling us may gradually make itself heard.

Henri J. M. Nouwen

slept alot. feels much better.

:) but though the nose is running and the sniffing continuous... least the headaches and feverish spells are off... i slept early last night and avoided any strenuous exercises at all costs given the fact that i have heard of things like peumonia...

it really scared me...

today's class was fun we had some sort of a project group set up and then started to go into the producing and operations of building planes for boeing and etc... :) alot of misses and mis-hits for sure but it was all in the name of fun... and we kinda got the lesson better... i am the sort to be more contemplative over something once i have had the chance to try it out... am more kinestatic by nature... :)

haiz... filed for the overseas college thing for next year... wonder if there would be anything that comes out of it... really... :( similarly the tax rebates thingy that i am trying to do up...

the midterms come banging down my door... next week alone i have like 4.. plus assignments to boot... galore!!!

also signed up for internship to certain companies i shan't mention... the worse would be that i do relief teaching in school... *shrug* just need some monies anyway... cause honestly i don't like the idea of sponging off my parents more than what i should especially when it's in singapore... would most definitely be tempted to just draw on my savings.. which is bad of course...

going for a marketing field trip later in the afternoon after my two hours of finance class... the guys who sit next to me in both finance and management seemed rather arrogant and quiet, but after introducing myself and all... realised we all just have different approaches to making friends... being ourselves... i chidded myself for judging... after all they're politically correct people who are nice though a little cold... and remind me vaguely of a person called sophie...

tomorrow? going shopping with roolin... :) think i need a break la.