everybody's slimming down...

i used the adjective because it is currently still happening! everyone i see around me are losing weight and looking really good too! (no not that sort of anorexically skinny)... it makes one looks healthy and young... vibrant and bright about life!

i got this abstract art painting at the church auction for 45 bucks... it's an original by a singaporean artist but i regret buying it due to the not-so-positive vibes i get from the rest of my family members... don't ask me why i have these sort of likings... i just like it. i found it extremely serene yet lively at the same time...

well... to me it beats spending alot of money on coupons and gorging yourselves silly (no offense to anyone but i tended to do that before, alot...) when you don't have to... i like to take home something to admire... and the money goes to the church fund as well as the sjsm medical missions fund... for a good cause... for a good cause... got a heavily underpriced tea set (mom got it) as well as a cultured pearls necklace...

my mom was so excited about getting prizes for trying out different games... haha... i tried to do the hulahoop but i guess the little girl's still the little girl and she pipped me to it... it didn't help that i was wearing really heavy clothing... (excuses... hehe)

i can do lengths, not number of rounds per minute.. used to do it whilst watching tv programmes... when i was younger... :)

everyone says i look different today... i can't think why... do i?

hm... maybe it's because i am really dark now... tanned... and a little rosy at the cheeks for the amount of sun i get whilst putting on a little sunscreen...

a night's tears can bring more joy than a day's laughter...

it's through misunderstandings that the reconciliations make for a stronger and more lasting relationship... i don't doubt it now... when you've quarrelled about the most minute of things... you know how close you're getting to knowing each other...

such irony isn't it?

today's malasa dosai with mom was fabulous... woke up early to do the marketing with my mom... and as usual we bought the "whole market"...

i love it when people stare into our baskets and try to guess how many fruit-eating-monkeys we've got at home... well we've none... we've got perfectly healthy and good people in my home who just love eating fruits... i personally would go the mile for them... and more!!!

the indonesian food at ivin's was good... great! and reasonable... i would patronise it again.... but first i got to have more indian stuff... *grr*

i am an evolving creature trying to own a better personality... i don't have much of what it takes.. but i am certainly trying to be one better than the old skool rubbish i used to be...

salsa? pilates? hip hop?

jitterbugs at millenia walk seems like the perfect place to pick up some salsa and whatnots... the only thing is that i was abrupted reminded that it's rather a sensual dance... i only thought it to be a good possible workout session... and so i am contemplating some others... am asking andrew for his professional advice... hehe... oh he's going for an audition for some musical tomorrow just to try things out...

anyways... noc came into my mind and i have been surfing the web a little blindly to check things out... seems like only silicon valley and bio valley is viable.. and man are those slots superbly hot spots... (at least, what i think!) my chances of getting in are drastically lower... but i guess why not give it a shot? shane says it's a good experience to have... though of course... i know he should hate to say that exactly in my face... :(

gorged yet again (i seem to have this penchant ever since i started noticing my diet) so maybe i shouldn't even... :) takes my mind off food... but i am dying to have indian food right now... north indian curries and dosai... am having withdrawal symptoms... i have to have it tomorrow morning or i'll...

okok... we're going to have it (my way as usual and I am sorry my dear about that!) for dinner tomorrow...

ever tried eating fried shallots on its own?

it's quite a mouthful... yeeks...

amazingly, i passed!

the adrenaline's still rushing and thank God (really, truly and honestly) that I passed... I didn't deserve to pass actually... given the number of strokes that I played on each hole... and the way I swung my 7 iron (given that it's my best stroke)... but my drives went pretty much better than I had hoped! I guess being calm and not worrying too much about the outcome helped me alot.. as well as two nice gentlemen who were so encouraging as well as a nice lady who was with me all the while... :)

I need to practice alot more... playing on the green is much more exciting that I had anticipated actually... :) and I love playing from the sand bunkers actually... love it.

woo hoo! I still can't sit still... have wiped my shoes and clubs of the grass and yet... I am unsettled... would need to go bathe in a while to get out of the house... I think I need to... the adrenaline's driving me nuts! got to meet darius and catch up over lunch...

fine week it's been!!!

watched nacho libre yesterday and when I saw that it was a nickelodeon production... I knew we were in for something more than hilarious... something lame... went to watch it with the bizad people... from shane's og... goodness... we just stared at each other after the show with that knowing look... then ended up gaffawing... :)

oh... and i know I can't play X Box tennis for nuts... seriously... i think the key problem is that the players react too slowly to the button pressings... or maybe I am just slow... :(

Queen of laughs wants to be a chocolate coated marshmellow with biscuit base!

Ok so I have relegated my crown of Mean to someone else... I don't know... I am on this stand-up comedy streak right now... Things just pop into my head... I don't even need to think much or straight at all! Haha SK was laughing himself to sleep... :)

i think i might actually get a partner to go for ballroom dancing lessons and classical music concerts! the condition was that if a significant other doesn't mind... *ah hem*

otherwise... hip hop's a pretty valid option! it's individualistic and I can do whatever i like without resistance...

And yes I think that chocolate coated marshmellow with biscuit base is simply exquisitely delicious... i like to think of myself as that... hard chocolate coating on the outside that melts with each bite to reveal the soft marshmellow that I am inside... I have a solid biscuit base for logical support and grounding... how nice!

Haowen said that he saw a T shirt that mentioned something which reminded him of me... "Tai-yai in training"... aiyoh... of all the things... I thought it was going to be "sunny side up gal" or something cornier like "auntified diva"... :)

Sien said I am the tai tai already... no training needed! How ever did I reveal this side of myself that I don't already know? *puzzling smile*

"su yu shuo de hao: pang guan ze qing" maybe maybe???

Notes aside, Tiger made it!!! He won The Open! by 18 under par... woo hooo!!! Ernie Els just faded into the background as Chris De Marco also made some good comebacks... solid putting from the front two... amazing.

Miss Japan got second place to Miss Puerto Rico! Yayness to the one sassy japanese cutsey who speaks 4 languages and was the wildcard of the finalists really... :) i love her hair... reminds me of my longer-haired days... jet black and long... but of course she's no skinny bones... just slim... cheers to non-anorexic looking cuties!

I'm sorry I happen to be biased towards our asian competitors... :0)

oh Carol Cheong's assets were slighted when compared to the rest of the world's offering... somehow I am comforted by the fact that "project runways" didn't win the miss singapore universe title... it would have been rather embarassing...

Here ends the highlights for today... this is Sophie over and out!

Queen of Mean.

Heh. Well is it by any chance a coincidence that everything that comes out from my mouth seems to be a trifle mean? Or perhaps I haven't been that brutally honest before and the reality now's pretty terrifying. :)

So I was coined Queen of Mean by Justin and Shane. Oh well... suppose they both got my horrible attitudes at different times of different everydays... and they've got it bad and really good and worse.

Worship went well and good! The whole concept of putting in verses in-between worship songs worked out well and fine... especially when the verses relate directly to the lyrics of the songs... :) I'm telling you, it's God... not me. I really didn't think I could pull anything off... I just probably have a trifle more stage presence when things screw up... but it didn't! Thank God...

Been dressing like some punk lately... more specifically, i kinda look like rahimah rahim in my dressing lately... and it doesn't help that i have that same fringe curled in the same way and highlights too... sheesh she copied me! i had it first... *hmph*

tonight's a lonely night with me and the open... my parents and sister are going for a wedding I didn't feel like I was going to attend... and my brother's perpectually having a date with his computer... so i date tiger woods, on screen... :)

I was supposed to go for my friend's bday party, but it seems like I was supposed to go for the one she held yesterday (yeah she had/ is having 3 bday parties) but I think I saw wrongly... oh well!

and my dad can't send me to the driving range because he's going off for the wedding... :(

i thought i was going for practice and so i didn't try to play tennis with shane's og friends...

i haven't played tennis for some time now... couple of months... haiz... really wanted to... :(

so things are finally mean to me huh? what do you think i should do? nah, heck it and make me happy doing my own things... :/

dual identities.

my friend darius just came back from the US... he's canadian singaporean who was born there and raised here... just recently confirmed his canadian citizenry and i guess for good reason too... canada finds one far more opportunities than mere singapore... and with a country that huge, being the weather girl to earn a proper income is viable too... :)

i've ever dreamt of making the weather girl cut by imagining graduating in geography, being a meteorologist, and making waves literally by reporting on the latest happenings.. given the intensity of the meteorologistic department these days with the measurement of seismic waves that arise from underground tremors and the subsequent shockwaves and tsunamis... it's not something you can put a "no use" sign to these days...

so i guess i'm living dual lives as well... one part's practical and says that i should and would go the practical way of life.. to find a good and well-paying livelihood to support myself and find a better life... the other tells myself to live somewhat more dangerously by doing what i like to do instead... but i chose the former, and as a result i am forcing myself to love the former and i somewhat do! i'll never know what it would feel like to be the latter but it certainly sounds interesting!

you can't have your cake and eat it too...

well for once i have company tonight without the movie screen... it was fun talking to You as always... :) some people ask what makes one fall in love... some just do and never reason out why. that's perhaps the most dangerous way to love.. but perhaps the most fulfilling...

have i lived a fulfilling life today? i'm not too sure... but i am sure trying all means and ways to make it happening... whatever goes :)

"stop eating so much little sophie!"

i find myself taking a liking to eating proper meals with desserts as a must. i have been gorging on chocolate cake leftovers... this has to stop!

yeah and so i tell myself... stop eating so much!

but it seems that it only picked up this week... i suppose it happens whenever i am stressed or a little disturbed... i was fine all week last week! (ok so 7 days doesn't make anything much but... oh well...)

just realised that i have to unlearn very quickly and learn up the new techniques i just picked up just... it all seems very disturbing... and i get very irritated when people start making noises over the greens... this has to be curbed. so that i can concentrate better despite every disturbance. and drive the thoughts of irritation out of my mind...

to play better. yes to play better.

it's this coming tues.. i had better hurry up.

fred is such an efficient guy... he just organises things and also includes the people he knows every now and then... suddenly i find myself coordinating things i never intended to... but then... i did hear those voices in my head to do something when everything's messy and disorganized. but i couldn't be bothered. i'm a different person. i don't take things into my hands no more. am i supposed to?

oh well... maybe... maybe...

black.

wow. i am back to black. no not in that fashion statement sense but skin tone wise... and i don't even have a clue as to why i am so successful in this aspect despite not even trying at all...

no i don't sport multi-colours... i sport multi-tones... three actually. one from my old swimsuit. one from my new swimsuit. and one from my t shirts. *grit*

how much time is it going to take me to get back in tone?

sent khris off at the airport yesterday... he was kinda upset at leaving (what am i saying? he's devastated really...) but well the best advise i could give him was to pack his schedule and treat it like a holiday? it's about 3-4 months because he comes back to visit again... which is true...

ah but well... it's tough. tough to leave your family for 4 years. tough to leave friends made. tough to leave comfortable singapore... to go and live in a place less familiar. and alone.

advice turned verbal sparring for me and him... :) and verbal sparring turned buddy-talk for me and justin. coolness. i think i've been mistaken for a guy too many times... but no matter... grew up with guys... tend to 'mother' and 'understand' them better... and it makes for a much better platonic friendship... because there are no silly inklings and the sorts involved.

hit 175m at the most with the wood today. felt good since i haven't had much success on the course... but of course there were alot of bogey shots... *argh* tomorrow, i've got to try again... *grit*

the buffet at sakura was superb. ate like a whale. :( oh no... oh no...

we start to believe when there's no compelling factor but his love for us.

It was amazing that mentioned on sunday in our cell discussion, it would be mentioned today in "my utmost for his highest"... The writer identifies that Saul changed from a strong-willed and forceful pharisee into a humble and devoted bondservant of the Lord Jesus Christ.

What he notes is that there is nothing mysterious about Paul's conversion. We control what we believe and what we choose to fight for, or not to fight for. It's natural to seek explanations for everything we deem necessary, but somehow it's not natural to obey. He mentions though, that it's not necessarily sinful to disobey either. That was the turning point. I have always thought that the Christian approach would be to force ideas and obedience upon us... whether or not we have been convinced of the authority and ideas.

We mustn't go into the world telling others what to do and what not to do... neither should we practice it in our church. Disobedience can be seen as vile, but in some sense it also reflects a freedom to choose, as well as perhaps an unconvinced mind. It reflects a thinking Christian who wants to know and needs to know to clear her doubts about everything... so that she can live at peace with herself and God. Of course, ideally God would show it to her in due time... and when she knows, she then must obey. But if the authority given her is mere men and his ideals, she shall not obey until God shows it to her to be true. Somehow or other though, alot of things are meant to be experienced and known and not told. Some things are meant to be a lesson taught, others bring one to a new route to be found.

But through it all, if she loves God... it would come to light in time to come... meanwhile even though she is rather disturbed and irritated, she can bask in his love and grace to serve him... while God's love compels.

trying to keep it up!

trying to keep the enegy levels up and not sleep in the afternoon so much... i slept noticeably more last night and it caused me to become more lethargic in the afternoon.. think it's something i surely should avoid at all costs... :)

i didn't know my room was so much of a mess until someone commented on how 'ok' it looks on the exterior and really messy inside... :( okok i shall use the little time i have tonight to pack it all up...

schumacher's on his way to catch up with alonso... i really hope he does... :) he's been one of my sporting idols for quite some time now... not for his winning streaks but more for his dedication and fitness despite being one of the oldest, if not the oldest man in the circuit! i admire hard work, and the control he adds with daredevil driving...

not exactly your cup of tea but it goes well with me... hehe.. this week would be practice week for me... as well as rest week (so fast right? haha... i seem to always be resting alot) before next week... where i would have to organise the picnic for my og as well as have my test! (i'm honestly pretty nervous)

and then the following week would be the anntic retreat and the recce to malaysia... got two of my freshies from my og to join us in the anntic com... a sideline argument for their inclusion is the lack of girls we have in the group... haha... :)

a feminist has got to have her backers.

school's starting in a short time and my sweet holiday would have come and gone... lessons learnt are aplenty and the time spent in nothingness has been fulfilling... for the first time!

wonderful holidays.. pity it's all coming to an end... :(

comeon move your bumbo clod... get it up!

largest chocolate bar in the world!!!

largest chocolate bar in the world was spotted at plaza singapura and it weighs 2.7 tonnes!!!

no amount of exercising is ever going to release the person who gorges on it from the extra weight gained from eating it...

watched "thank you for smoking"... the hilarious comedy was a hit with everyone... but for one, don't go with a blur mind... it won't in trying to catch on to the jokes and getting the logic worked out in your head...

trying to get the article done for epi asap... think we're definitely working on full steam ahead... it's for the 2nd copy for this coming semester...

been helping my mom prepare the food for tonight's cell gathering of her's... :) been fun but cutting chilli is not... my fingers are burning real badly... :(

can't wait to eat later... am starving already... :)

it's feels so good to feel right with God again...

it feels so good to get things off my chest, to get things right with God again, to start from a new leaf, to explain myself of recent directional changes, and to be accepted and loved still, despite of it. thanks so much for accepting me for me! :)

it's early sunday morning but i am busy chatting online with a friend of mine from vcf. how apt it is that we get reminded of God's love for us through friends like that...

Acceptance, Acknowledgment, and Appreciation (all of which I have never really taken to heart with respect to approaching others)

Listening more and talking less... sharing my personal testimony to encourage others...

Coming back to the heart of worship in an upward sloping sine curve... being reminded of events and times when I was so close to him... being reminded that life's not worth living without him, and the feeling sucks when you're without him...

Heart of Worship

When the music fades,
All is stripped away
And I simply come...

Longing just to bring,
Something's that of worth
That would bless your heart...

I'll bring you more than a song,
For a song in itself, is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within, through the way things appear
You're looking into my heart...

I'm coming back to the heart of worship,
And it's all about you,
It's all about you, Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it,
When it's all about you, it's all about you Jesus...

I'll bring you more than a song... more than a song...

You're looking into my heart, you're looking into my heart...

*glistening smile*

happy day!

i found my drive- finally. to have more activities per day... the foc camp woke me up to realise my usual busyness again... I just hope that i wouldn't fizzle out...

came back yesterday night groggy-eyed and woke up today to go for my dance with eyes half-closed. then rushed off to city hall to meet with the anntic com to settle retreat stuff... thank God I have a whole bunch of super committed and efficient guys in the team! :) looking forward to working more with you guys...

and i got an unexpected call that left me grinning like a cheshire cat... got a call from ian soh! :) haha... he sounded so different on the phone that i went huh??? till i heard that familiar laugh... :) and then he said that he thought he would meet me at beck's bday party today- which i had to skip due to my brother's bday celebrations...

oh well... this coming week's a test coming, three lunch appointments, two meetings... so far... exciting! i think the foc really psyched me up for the busy schedules again... goody goody...

back from camp quirky!!!

:) and i am so much in love with it... i made so many new friends... converted acquaintances into friendship- which i hope would continue to last and live up to the community that Christ asks us to be a part of... :)

i guess i will never see the X men in the same light again... (my group did a skit based on the themes of X men and the topic of 'unity') it was hilarious... but i would say not as hilarious as that of the superman's and the nemo's...

being an ogl for the camp wasn't too easy as i would have liked... i don't know if i should qualify them as spiritual attacks but i was sick and almost down for much of the camp... but i prayed and God answered my prayers to help me not be a part of the 3rd day's beach games... but i didn't know that that would apply to everyone else as well - it rained.

*boo*

two years back, i came into such a camp a little lost but a very enthusiastic freshie whose light sort of fizzled out in the times that came... i am regretful of that and i hope that this light would be renewed and rejuvenated. it felt good to once again minister to and touch the lives of others... something (some of you might know) that would officially be in doubt with respect to church.

in any case tomorrow would be no rest day and i would have to have a meeting to meet the anntic committee to organise our retreat.. tired. but i guess essential and good to have most definitely.. the advertisement for both epistole and anntic went well and so far we've got two freshies who approached us to be layout artists! :) yay...

just love singing along to the sound of music... we spent the 2nd last day singing alot with music and wow... it was nice... along with good voices to boot, vcf has got some fantastic musicians no doubt... new ones... :)

was very touched by the way the engine people were so close as friends and brothers and shared openly and seriously with one another, having some brotherly time out amongst themselves... one can say from one viewpoint that they were being clickish but i guess this is a plus point in having an all-male group of guys who can share openly with one another... and especially when they happen to be more introverted at the sight of girls... hah.

i loved interacting with the ogls themselves... was very very farni. they were mostly guys who don't look like they could crack a joke (hey no offense ok!) but turned out to be the craziest bunch of people i tell you... it's insane... laughing everyday made my stomach muscles harden...

this camp? fun-tastic. there is nothing more i can say to describe how much i love it...

my dad is the best dad in the whole world!!!

it really hit me just then when i realised that my dad's so willing to send me to school and back though not at his convenience and wake-up timings... he's really so supportive and wonderful... i really feel so indebted.

my mom and i made butter cake today... but we learnt something along the way- don't cut down on butter when you're making a butter cake... :) haha... that was rather a joke though.. but the middle part of the cake was fine and nice... moist and umph... :)

*pats on our backs*

i just love my family...

love my friends... starting to love my life... and myself...

well the week has started!

here we go... i am here in the school's library after returning books that i fortunately had renewed loans of so that i needn't pay the fines... waiting for the meeting to start... at 11am... though of course it shouldn't be called a meeting 'technically' when i sense alot of 'action' impending... slacking off gym this week for the camp... logically since i can't have time to... and i worry for my weight gain so far... sheesh been eating good food and not exercising...

caught superman just yesterday and it was nice! was thinking to myself whether the liking for superheroes such as superman would indicate a character trait within oneself... it's like, there are so many superheroes, each with different identities and traits, what makes one like one over the others? some identify with spiderman for his vulnerabilities in real life, but superman this round seems to have caught on with that as well... some identify with wolverine's angst and i am no exception... some identify with jean grey's inability to make clear choices in life, some love the quiet leadership of storm... some love cool superdudes the ninja turtles... some like laid back, brainy and rich batman... i would love having a personal assistant but that's not the issue here...

but one thing's clear... everyone senses the need to have a hero... everyone needs a hero... whether the hero is oneself or someone else...

some heroes are rather out of sync with the rest... roald dahl's mathilda used to be my heroine and still is in some sense... except that it surfaces in people like dr. rice and ex-hp-ceo carly... heroes do present some light in what you search for... i just hope the discovery's not too frightening...