I see the moon, a million stars are out tonight...

gentle reminder of the way you are... my feet may venture to the ground but you would never let me down, I can't hold it in, my soul is singing... hey you, I'm into Jesus... (X4) hey u, I've seen the truth, and I believe...

ayup... I recall having typed this song in here sometime ago... not too long ago I remember... and yes, it reminds me of the way he is to me...

God helped me lead in worship today without a singing voice but with a talking voice... (rather low and husky as I might say) but it was a wonderous time of worship... people were praying for my sick being and people were so encouraging after the session was over and before... thank God for them... each and every one of them made a difference... :P

I woke up without a voice and when I heard that Karen had a sore throat too... I still had the peace within me and I knew that God'll take control...that something good was going to come out of all these... so I prayed that Karen would find her voice... never mind me... and prayed for a talking voice that I could speak... just speak... because I knew that God wanted me to speak to the people...

and what to say Lord? it's you who knows our every need and want and being... u know how much we can take and how much we can't... so I was quite immensely relieved that I'm not the main character in the BCE... though a leading side liner... because I knew deep down in my heart that I wouldn't be able to take it... and I needed time to rest and take time out to study... am taking 6 modules... reminder... yup... so I prayed I wouldn't get it... (don't know if it's spiritually alright to do that but anyway... what's done is God's will and not a result of my praying really...) we're merely exercising our faith by speaking to our Lord... :) no one said it wasn't therapeutic... neither is it not a time of healing... :)

and so... the bazaar starts tomorrow... and counting down the days I am... my vice head's down with food poisoning... prayed he'll be well... and yes... God... with your protection and assurance of wisdom and favour... I'll be ready... :)

if I could buy something immaterial...

it'll be time and energy... :P I have been so superbly busy that yes, I haven't found the time to blog in anything as yet... classes from tuesday onwards were a blur... everything was so tight... the time I had... had to go from this place to another to set up contracts and receive payment etc... thank God I had my dad to drive me to school etc... and back... for quite a few of the days... thursday had an ultra long day which ended with a combined meeting for the BCE for VCF... yes, am in the cast and it ain't nothing to boast about... the stage is an altar, God's in the centre and we're looking for the approval of one, and no other... :) Gabriel's teachings go deep and sharp... thank God for talented people like him... he's one the co script writer as well... for the play we'll be having...

and yes, friday was a day at school till 4, after which I rushed down to play tennis with my pastor and a couple of church friends... it was great... but I might have over-exerted myself... because I'm not used to two hours straight of exercise... :P

so am currently not feeling too good... ate my honey to cure my throat and dumping gallons of water into my system... pray it'll be ok for me tomorrow when I lead in praise in the sanctuary...

so sat today it is... and left my house really early to go down to shenton way to sign a contract, meet up with some sponsors... and thereafter went to the garang guni thing organised by VCF to raise funds for the play...

tired out? yup.. and thereafter went to meet more sponsors and stuff before rushing down in a taxi to church for rehearsal... God salvage my savage soul... I don't want to be broken by a lack of energy and sleep... it's like 6 now and i finally have some peace and quiet before needing to help my mom with the household chores... I think I qualify for being a super mom in the future! haha... what am I thinking? and my pastor was mentioning that I'm an achiever, corrected to over achiever... well... at first the thought came to me and I said it out aloud that perhaps it's due to my underachieving in jc that I need to find my way out of that slump...

but another thought came to me... we try our best and use the talents God has given to us... every single one of them, you possess for a purpose... so use it! and success or not, God gives and withholds as he deems fit... :P

bird's nest and shark's fin...

wow.... those stuff taste so divine! yup... had my share of these dishes today... dad took us out to eat... and we each had crab too... one for each person to be exact... and the thing is... it didn't cost a bomb! I was quite amazed...

anyway... the rest of the dishes that came with it didn't taste all that good... oh well... can't always have everything, isn't it?

was just flipping through web pages related to the students' exchange program and I realised so many things about the system... how I am to get about it etc... seems like I have targeted a couple or three schools to put into my possible-list... good good... least we're getting somewhere...

lazily went to the gym just now to exercise some... seems it's not enough to compensate for today's gorging... oh well... there's always tennis tomorrow morning... playing with moi... and with moi wall... :P not going to torture anyone with my absurd playing.... yups...

The usual platter of sports and thoughts...

ah... when I do need sobriety... it comes after each time I start the sweatin... and yes... tennis and table tennis' really fantastic today... had a great time with you guys man... :) and yes... I don't care if you're reading this or not... (haha...)

great... *sarcastic* and so i will be having an extremely long week.... want to exercise tomorrow.. but on second thoughts... maybe not... sigh... too little sleep... need it more... perhaps tues... wed, thurs... and friday would suffice... yup...

oh well.. dozing off now.. zzz... catch ya in a second... :) literally since I won't be having much of sleep I guess... sigh..

generally a full feeling inside of me...

ate spiritually just now during the worship seminar meeting and it was good! (oh oh, starting to sound like a certain someone...) :) and yes, gorging time at my mom's friend's homeblessing party... man was the otah good... heh... and yup... today feels like any sunday... just not a saturday... except maybe when people keep hanging on to every word on the telly do they realise the change in sequence of days or somewhat something like that...

do you know that the earth's spin was affected for a fraction of a second during the earthquake that caused the recent tsunami? perhaps it's because of that I'm feeling a little spaced out and distant! haha... it's always everyone else's fault, never mine... isn't it?

just realised that I may not be able to go for the exchange program... well... unless a miracle happens.. since I failed a module... I wonder if they'd think taking six modules this sem and still meeting the requirements would suffice... I hope so! but it's God's call... if I'm meant to go overseas... no matter the resistance... I'd go still... but if I'm not meant to go... no amount of work and persuasion's going to get me the exchange... so what shall I say? try my best and lo and behold... I'd see that everything in my life falls into perfect synchro?

perhaps... perhaps... perhaps the best solution yet is to plan and not expect... to try and accept possible failures... to try and never give up... to hope in the Christ who's the Lord of everything... Christ... the author and perfector of our faith... for without faith, what do we live for?

I see the moon, a million stars tonight... gentle reminder of the way you are... etc etc etc... my feet may dangle to the ground but you'd never let me down... I can't hardly speak my soul is screaming... hey you... I'm into Jesus... (X4)

that rock song's in stark contrast to those sappy 'feeling-based' love songs... don't know but I'm feeling a little... well... how do you put it? some rebellious streak running in me? rock on dude...

and yes I came up with a little jazzy catchy tune... dedicated to my simply dramatic life... c'est tres bien... :)

a friend in need is a friend indeed...

that's what I keep telling myself because well... have been played out by a friend of mine (not his fault really) and I'd have to say in all professionalism I'm not supposed to tolerate this but I've always believed in more than mere contacts for corporate reasons... friendships are what we should treasure... alot... cause a good friend doesn't merely come back every once down the other street... but am I being too exploited? My rational mind tells me not... well, at least I know that he's been doing his fair share of work and since I do know what is going on in his life, i should emphathize and not try to act like some ignorant idiot who breathes down people's necks... and yet... sigh... the very thing I despise people for (relenting to others), I imagine myself falling into now... it's shitty... seriously... but there's one difference though... I'm no longer the outsider... I'm the insider... people can say that I'm a sucker... or whatever's related to a girl who's on too relenting terms with a guy... but I know what I'm doing... do I? hmm... the situation leaves much to be desired really... sigh... as long as everything goes on well for the bazaar... shan't be bothered too much... got greater things to look forward to than 'bask' in the midst of these 'scandalous' thoughts... which aren't true, of course...

perhaps it's because people don't see the holistic view of my fast-paced life? change is inherent and therefore hard to track... oh well... God... please protect me from exploitation... :)

Making unintelligible statements...

you could almost imagine me in a very uncouth position, lying in the creases of my bed, and snuggling up to my pillows... making the most of every opportunity to sleep... and sleep well for that matter... God... I'm rather sleepy... I need some rest or I'll find myself akin to a baffled "idiot" going blah blah blah without some thought in my head...

so I've got straight sets of lessons without much breaks in between for next week and the rest of the term... God help me... wait... more like SAVE me from insanity!

hope the appeal goes well... my lecturer has yet to get back to me... prayfully everything works out well... and yes... how I pray for providence...

cell was fine... but God, we always start so late... will the late people please stand up?

long day no. 2 tomorrow... morning's the prayer walk at the reservoir... and thereafter meeting with my bazaar vice head... and then aiesec meeting to discuss major stuff... what a day... and sat's the worship seminar thingy as well... I'm fried... told you...

easily done... yet I know not the results...

all I had to do was to put a flimsy piece of paper into a reused cardboard box... for my application... that was quite it.... to think I went to school that early for that... oh well... what to do... I can't help but think that it'll be better in any case to go earlier anyways.... lecture's starting in a minute (literally) and I'm still in the computer lab... la... sometimes... we've all got to chill some isn't it?

and yes, my dad's coming home today! from his slew of meetings... miss him lots... (sound like a baby girl of daddy? well yes, you couldn't have been more right!)

and long day today again.... three lectures in a row and then it's cell group... which I have to leave early from to go pick my dad... from the airport...

nothing so interesting as yet.. and oh... got into the auditions for the vcf thingy... what part? I don't know as yet...

I'll be going berserk, trust me...

ok, so I've relinquished the idea of having a free day... ok... so maybe it's only during the odd weeks that I do not have it... still somewhat a holiday... every fortnightly... and well, since the gem I'm taking has fortnightly classes on wed itself, making it a half day... shan't complain too much shall I? :P

after all, no one said taking a minor would be easy... and no one said taking six modules (albeit not my choice) would be easy...

anyway, would have to go down to the dean's office tomorrow anyway... to request for a space in the class... since all the slots available ain't going to make it... it clashes with everything I have... sheesh... help me...

that's one more module to apply for tutorial for... after that and I'll be fine... *thank God*

printing my multiple lecture notes now... today had a really lazy day of sleeping after I came back home from lunch... not too good an idea... but was feeling kinda nauseous anyway this week... seems hadn't gotten too good sleep in a while... and didn't make my cold calls today... arrrgghhh.... help.... someone's going to kill me and I hope she won't though... I can't help it... really...

and yes, if I were to go on with so many aiesec stuff and the business bazaar and everything... I'd be fried... thoroughly fried... and you know i hate fried stuff...

thank God the stores for the bazaar are quite about done... except with the contract signing etc... jianwen... you're wonderful... :P and thank God for such a capable young man as an assistant... and no... he doesn't wear the skirts here... heh... neither do I the pants!!!

I can actually joke right now? *wonderment* I'm having difficulties just planning a little timetable of mine already... but I somehow have the peace that everything's going to be alright... he always comes through... he always does... God, I trust in you...

please grant me favour with the mdm... please...

and please help me factor in the exercise I need!!! *that's the most crucial exogenous variable here...* because it's something I can't control but it's something that would affect me... and my output... *lovey-dovey with my exercise*

I can't help but hate you...

I can't help but hate you... stupid online registration system... my modules are clashing really badly... and GOD!!! please... I have been praying really really hard for this... I'm trying to appeal right now... but seems like nothing's working since they kept saying I gave an invalid module no. or something... sheesh... how how how?

I hate you... seriously...

smile! you're bruised but beautiful!

bruised by my wants and needs... yet beautiful on the outside i hope... :) I'm so so desperate... not for a man duh... like they're the only desirable things on earth! I want a car!!! and some new shoes... heh... pretty empty-headed wants I know... but with a car, I could go places... I could save so much time and erm... on a light-hearted note, look great? and shoes would get me taller than my petite frame... all the exercise in the world doesn't seem to make me taller nor skinnier... ok, I'll admit it's tough being un-perfect...

why am I speaking in circles and without a brain? sigh, perhaps it's me calling up so many companies just now and yet getting rejected time and again... no I don't mind the rejection...I mind not getting a meeting or getting something accomplished... I need to be sober! (slap and wake up)

why, I hadn't got two of my tutorial time slots... anyone can tell me how to go about it? sheesh.... this has to happen... but it's pretty good a percentage of classes done up though... btw...

the AUSTRALIAN OPEN's here... and I've been watching... my favourite players are doing great.. Roger Federer and Guillermo Coria... and yes about looks? I'd rather Marat Safin and Lionel Lewis(the Singapore football player just came into my mind suddenly)... I know he ain't a tennis player...

I've gotta stop here... or I'll end up some silly young thing prattling on about her as-good-as-non -existent life...

what a wonderfully complex world!

listening to my rather humourous lecturer speak on globalisation makes the topic a whole lot easier to swallow... not that the issues are that complex... to me, issues aren't complex when there's a way out of them(no matter how hard to)... but these global problems aren't mere problems... they're humongous and need assiduous attention and utmost care in handling, and yet in doing so, no one's certain if that would alleviate the situation in any way... because somewhere some place... down the road.. perhaps it'll be some terrorists' plan to do something (I know... this sounds too delicate to bring up but we've got to face it, we're working everyday to reduce the chance of that happening and so far, singapore's been doing great... but the chance remains... stubborn)

and whilst we're being concerned here about the world and all its problems and thinking through solutions (don't know about you but I am)... people are fighting amongst themselves... through gritting battles of wit (ok... acknowledge that), emotions (shows one inability to be emotionally stable as a result), between friends and for friends... arrggghhhh.... why can't some people learn to put aside silly childish thinking and start to realise the key issues here? why can't some people wise up and learn how to handle themselves? I know not everyone's perfect but at some point of time in life, we should all have learnt how to handle certain situations and I'm utterly amazed, with a negative connotation, at the wonders of a childish mind... view people more objectively rather than through the eyes of deceit, conceit, and insecurities? and you'll find less pessimism within yourself and learn to relate to others as well as you'd want them to relate to you... learn to forgive, live and let go, and keep praying for yourself to change whatever needs to go...

long day no. 1... for this week... got to factor in some exercise here... it's tough... but i need to! can feel the fats piling up already with all the eating... sheesh... and there may be a shift in timings and dates of certain cca events.. opening the door for me to do something... which I don't know about as yet... but wish to find out soon... in the most palatable way though!

I love myself... lulin out!

Jihad versus Mcworld...

la, it's the only thing I can keep thinking about and not end up reprimanding myself... it's homework after all... the readings have been rather overwhelming for this gem module, it being an arts module... well... have decided to stick to it and i guess that I have to go all out for it, knowing my weaknesses in certain arts modules but certainly not those that merely require an unthinking mind that keeps memorising... I could do that all summer... :P (it's just an expression...)

not that I'm all enthusiastic about it... the...

and yes, I ate alot today... two whole days of celebrating for nothing and being a glutton's far too much to take i guess... not too good are my prospects of a reconstructed body... yup, i think this would be the first time I'm mentioning it here? am planning to reconstruct my body shape with exercise and proper dieting... (key word: proper)... no stupid crash diets and all that silly stuff about totally cutting off carbo... will be eating my oats alright and have my meals, albeit being a little more sensitive to certain issues such as what accounts for what amount of calories... it's an art, not something to be laughed at by ignorant chaps... btw, read from a nutrition source that not eating carbo reduces your body's capacity to uptake any energy giving food in your diet, hereby making you fat as a result... so eat your carbo people!

and yes, it's probably jihad vs mcworld literally for me within... but I guess I have it almost sorted out... wanting to look good doesn't have to defile any religious thinking... I still love myself... (in both a spiritual and physically way) and pamper myself... (the mcworld result of advertising) and love God (the 'jihad' thingy here) I tend to integrate both? after all, what you do to your body is an indication of how much you treasure this life you're given, as much as how you go about realising your demanding schedule of going to old folks' homes and doing your bit for the community...

none's the novel... so beat it... and stick to whatever you have for yourself... but don't impose it anywhere... that's probably one of the most controversial ideology here in globalisation... the west has decidedly imputed their values and beliefs into the world's multi-cultural nations... not realising that it deepens the trenchs between various communities albeit being an expedient for global development... alright alright... I shan't talk more on this in here... getting lengthy and boring I guess... shall spare you poor beings and not be the heartless 'felless' (since a guy's a 'fella') I ought to be right now... :P ciao... sweet!

sheesh... sounding like an over-rehearsed texan...

effective passion needs to be bridled, checked and complemented

effective passion needs to be bridled, checked and complemented... agree? well, I sat in for a seven hour long voting session of aiesec and i must admit that initially I was expecting a very very boring and long day there in nus... but it surprised me all... perhaps it's because I know some of my seniors running for the various posts and it meant something to me at least, since it means so much to them... and their passion for the cca brought my attention to the very reason for aiesec to be in existance... to help young people discover their potential... and it's true! the work we're doing right now... all those cold-calling and research is such a blessing and a welcomed break from our constant slew of classes albeit it being more things to do and accomplish...

ate alot today and I'm quite regretting it... but however, it does occur to me that one must learn to reward oneself after a hard week of work and it does sound wonderful to have small little rewards like this one... :P

I'm learning fast huh? I'm going to try to do things right and not just to do the right things... set my rules and believe in myself... SHIT it (So Hit It Today!) and make professionalism a habit accompanied by consistent quality rather than having it as an image!

I shall not fail to try... anything other than that and I'll be trying to fail...

itchy about shopping, great start to a new term, first weekend and need high heels

itchy about shopping, great start to a new term, first weekend and need high heels... that basically sums up everything i wanna say about today... quite fantastic... went to my friend's house to do some cold-calling... again.. yes... and then to school to carry out my borrowing-of-book, printing, and returning of book... in a record time of guess what? 1 1/2 hours!!! quite a dash huh? wonderfully dumb... and there was me running in my office getup (had a meeting after my lecture) to my lecture... and then went to takashimaya to do some window shopping before embarking on my meeting with our first pretty-official sponsor... (for business club) quite an experience... not nerve-wrecking at all... but getting on your nerves anyhow... (some people can be in managerial positions without mastering their basic EQ)

and oh... it was followed by a mad rush to my cell group meeting, led in worship (thank God I've got a stamina not to pant through my singing) and then supper...

well done girl... long day no. 3 accomplished... and tomorrow there's cca... sigh... and would be skipping the tennis meeting at suntec... at marche... cause my budget's running low and I've been pretty astute in my finances... albeit being a little too constrained..

shall we dance? or act silly and sing those hits?

and yes... today was probably a very "talkative" day for me... caught up with a friend from serve, got to know her friend (met them in science fac) and yes, chatted with june, my jc friend... and had my dose of three math lectures in a row... isn't too bad... since I guess that some oxygen's gotten to my brains good anyways...

and I've been quite hysterically nuts... no qualms about that one... tomorrow morning's cold calling again and thereafter got to go to central library to print out my stuff and after which, my lecture and then a meeting to sign a contract (yay...) and... yes there's still an 'and' here... cell group...

long day no. 3...

counting up... the days I've been victorious... which will be everyday in the name of my Lord Jesus...

quite enchanting to be attached for a couple of minutes...

well, actually, it was for quite a while... had my long day today and yes it ended with a great bang! the AUDITIONS!!! whether or not I got in, it doesn't matter... what matters is that I had a hoot of a time and you know how acting gets me all fired up and crazy.. oh should I use the word emotive... maybe...and had to sing and dance... those two segments... oh well... I didn't prepare any song... just sang impromptu... felt like an out-of-place singapore idol wannabe trying to get in without any preparations... wasn't too bad i think... but could have been better... and as for the dance, well... what do you know? after not dancing for like 2 years... it's great I can still shake a little without so much as to over-stretch a couple of muscles and crack a few bones now and then...

the scene? I'm a little disoriented girlfriend who dumped a cute boyfriend because he has been cheating on me and now he wants a reconciliation... oh well... back to drama business of screaming and just venting all my frustrations etc... well actually, it's good in a sense that i was really shagged by then? I just put everything i had into the thing... just that well, the singing part was so obviously affected... la... if it's God's will... it is...

haha, it didn't help to have a cute co-actor helping me in this... I guess... dumping's so hard! :) but I had to... a jerk's a jerk... wonder if it were really true, what would I seriously say at that point of time? I mean, it's quite difficult to trust such a guy but if he really uses those nice words to try and win my heart back again, I'll most probably be vulnerable against the force of love... which I don't want to... obviously...

long day tomorrow again! cheryl, see ya at the calculus course... and it's three math lectures for me man... oh and i've decided to keep with globalisation... no problem with that... will just read up... no issue... and not forgetting the aiesec meeting at night... long day no. 2!!! guess it'll be like this for the whole of the semester... if I keep going on like that... which isn't so bad cause the realization that I've actually got tues, sun and sat free keeps me smiling... :P

no one touch those sacred timings for project work or whatever nut s***, alright? I have my own space... so there... "(

should I should I not?

drop the globalisation module's quite certain now... but take up another one to replace it? Hmmm... I have my doubts somehow... because well... unless I can get a non examinable module, I'd be miss nerd mind you... and I admit I ain't far from that for now...

sigh... why? why? why? why can't I just get the usual physics module and enjoy myself? and why in the world did I disobey him and take the stupid french module last semester? and why in the world couldn't I give up the tuition to study so I'd pass for it? and why was I so soft-hearted? sob...

ok so maybe I'm nice...

anyhow, went for facial today and indulged myself with some shopping... great sales... :P was supposed to go for a company meeting today... but well... it got cancelled and no one's complaining cause I need the time off... seriously... after all the stuff that's happened for the bazaar and the aiesec thingys? I'm shagged... I really am... and there's two meetings tomorrow! and an audition... oh well... God help me... really...

do I have time for another module? God... please... answer!!!

my piano, my bible, my book of poems and newsweek!

yes and that'll be what's going to keep me company whenever I feel alone inside... :P no need for a bf... albeit all that talk about boyfriends... and what's wrong with banker boyfriends? or having boyfriends? (due to a rather amusing discussion earlier) or having fun joking about liking to have a boyfriend? I'd think it's perfectly sane to do so!

and yes, my boyfriend doesn't have to earn the five-figure-a-month nor have 6 pacs... he just has to complement me I guess... and that results in my pickiness (supposedly) when in actual fact, it's my complicated life that's making things complicated...??? (but I kno'w what I want... that's for sure... and what I DON'T want... definitely)

sheesh... what's the talk about bfs? what's wrong with being a simple little girl reading my magazines, sipping ginger tea, or storming away on the piano and indulging in my literary works and God's?

came back from a friend's 21st bday... had jazz music, nice catered food and games... makes me wonder at my own in about less than two years' time... maybe go on a holiday on my own to somewhere and take a breather? (at least it's something different from the rest of those bashes...)

yes I shall do that... but who knows? might be attached by then... :P a change of plans is always possible!

ayup... and the term's starting soon... see me missing in action here... (ironic statement huh? just realised it...)

sheesh... do I really have to?

do I really have to start work, AGAIN??? school's starting in no time at all and I'm still in the holidaying mood... okok... got to get started, but I don't even have all my textbooks to study from!

Never mind that... yesterday was a good time I had talking to the foreign students... and realised my lack of geographical knowledge (considering I used to be so good in it, I had better feel embarassed)... I forgot all the capitals and places they were rattling and prattling about! know what it feels like to be lost huh? and guess I'd most probably be going to either the states, canada or UK to study... for my exchange programme... if I do get in, that is....

and great! my bazaar proposals have started to pour in and I finally mailed the companies I called the other time... but sigh, due to a lack of space in their mail box, I might have quite a bit of a problem... got to try again and call perhaps?

and I'm going to faint cause though for the other side of the AIESEC events, the response from the companies have been great, they've been quite silly to have meetings on saturdays... at of all places, NTU... does someone know how D*** far that place is? sheesh....

good thing it's just three events... or rather, projects... or I'll be calling the ambulance soon... (heh...) anyway, control level's still about an 8... and happiness level isn't dipping... still 8... still there... not too bad I guess...

Thank God for helping me through it all as well... :) and more to come...

I could have learnt all that in no time at all!

and so why is it that I left it to only now to start reading on current affairs and realising that the pragmatism that comes with it comes with age and learning, is nurtured, and not by nature... well, a note to take is that a little knowledge is still dangerous and better late than never...

had lunch with my best friend at Breeks at Marina Square, was a fantastic time we had, laughing and talking... oh well, guess that old friendships are hard to squash and I'm determined not to let this one go (for sure!!!) trust me, will try, del! and yes, I didn't realise the magnitude of my sarcasm... seriously side-splitting, yet with superior piercing powess... I must take note of that! (yes, it's part and version of whatever of a step I have to take towards fulfilling one of my resolutions... to be more accomodating... and more praise-giving!) no I didn't attack adelia, don't worry... she listened intently and laughed assiduously to my sarcasm placed on other people...

and shopping was good today though I would tend to think that the buying of toiletries in place of clothes might actually be a sign of age... I dragged back home tons of toiletries from watsons and as for clothes, only managed to buy the essentials... a dress for my cousin's wedding... that's it... the shoes were superbly cheap but I just couldn't bring myself to buy any... suppose I found it compulsive and unnecessary... la... and toiletries are a must? I suppose so... but excessive? not really...

tomorrow's a long day again! and everyday's going to be a long day, seems for this semester... got to get my act up again... someone pop me the pills to keep awake... and forget those stupid slimming pills... to me, keeping an alert mind's more important than keeping yourself pretty for school... although I admit I do go to the gym... that's a must for me...

they are supposed to assign me girls, aren't they?

well, I guess the university works differently! apparently they think that girls go well with guys and vice versa... this is actually rewarding! haha... don't mind me, I'm not thinking straight.. in case you're wondering what this is all about- I signed up to be a buddy for the SEP program and got three guys (2 americans and one dutch) as my assigned buddies...

so much for being busy and not being able to meet guys!

anyway, that put aside, just came back from an aiesec meeting... going for another one tomorrow... to do some cold calling (wait, did I say some? I gotta be kidding! it's ALOT) and these are after my last night's meeting quite late into the night!

gee, give me some vit B man...

and... my bazaar's up and running! well for the record! Thank God... and thank you Jianwen... (though u might not see this... )

cut my hair today and it's quite nice I think... not much of a change in look but chopped off quite a bit... would be leaving it long... anyway, it's just for the enjoyment of having my hair pampered and washed and stroked... and having my split ends cut away... it's a healthy practice!

having mood swings a little lately... but it's a learning process.. I get better with each burst of anger... thinking it through and soothing my angered-thoughts and keeping in touch with my feelings and others' as well... all's part of wanting to become a more accomodating daughter and person I guess...

ciao for now... not much time to prattle on nowadays... get used to it!

oh, and I spent some time reflecting on newsweek articles just now... a whole hour.... what am I doing? (but it's quite enriching... ok it's fun... ok I'm a nerd... call me anything you like)

I'm the record breaker for...

for the most number of events related to cca... and forgive me if my input here starts to come in in some trickles from now onwards... going to be superbly busy... I can see... :P

Business club: bazaar (January to February) and manpower for orientation (June)

Aiesec: BDM project (whole year) and University events (March, July, September, December)

VCF: trying for some project (March)

God... I know I'm being a little too enthusiastic about everything here... But I can't help but think that with you on my side, the future has everything worth fighting for... and I can't help but think that if I'm going for so many outside activities, I should at least go for more church oriented ones...

Thank God I'm not attached... the guy would have to be so laid back he'll probably rot... for the 1st half of the year anyway... :P unless he's so busy himself too... nah, no hint here... :)

a little more thinking makes you think alot different

and truly I say that to myself... I'm such a logic-sucker (forgive me for my use language)that sometimes I don't see things in another way as such... when people act on their feelings, I tend to interpret it in the logical way of things and I end up getting upset?!?

and so I've resolved to think about things for a little longer than I usually do and naturally, the answer comes inevitably... hopefully...

for all the riches in the world, I wouldn't care for any except pure wisdom... and praying it comes to me more and more, day by day...

Quietly turning into a nutcase...

The CORS system has much to improve on... I doubt anybody wouldn't second that! It's crazy... And we don't even know how protected we are in this whole system... Right now that everything's closed... And the bidding's going on anyways... Leaves me with a peace of mind because whatever I can put in I have put in... Anymore and I wouldn't have enough for the rest of the modules! So I've tried my best and done that... And as for the subsequent modules... God bless me, I have yet to bid for three more modules... One of which is a core module which I have set aside points for and the other two... One is a math module for my minor (although not declared) and the other for SSB... Sigh... I don't know if I have enough... What a poignant moment!

God really shows his sovereignty now I guess... Or rather, we only start to realize that only now... When everything's left to chance (and I hate gambling anyway) sheesh... Can they teach us how to make decisions with less at risk? (I mean, this could mean my whole future you know...)

talk about corporatising the school? Let's talk about helping your students to gain more security in this school first!

and yes I ended my year 2004 with a smile!

it wasn't expected since I was rather moody towards the end of the year but on the very last day of the year, found a new friend (MK, you rock!) and discovered the wondrous friendships I have always had but haven't taken the time to appreciate and cherish them enough! and so you can guess that that'll be one thing on my new year resolution list... and yes, I'm still rather excited about it... just had an opening year sharing session with my family and it was a good time of prayer and we asked of the Lord to grant us his favour to accomplish our goals...

I seem to be reiterating everything over and over again... well, that's a good thing in effect, keeps me reminded of what I should be reminded of... but you guys get bored just reading on and on about so on... so I shall deviate...

ha... today was quite something... no doubt another sunday where I went to church etc... and had my double dose of services as usual (i attend the youth and adults service)... there's a new intern in my church and everyone thought he was pretty much 21... until he revealed his age of 10 years added to that! THE ONLY THOUGHT THAT RANG THROUGH MY MIND WAS: I THINK I SHOULD BE SERVING IN YOUTH ALL MY LIFE BECAUSE IT'LL BE A TERRIFIC AGE-DEFYING FORMULA! La... as a young woman... that's all i could master... nope... didn't attend to any thoughts of romantism... though I kept thinking he suits a friend of mine very very well... *grin* some of you guys would know huh? *hint*