Am I in need of sleep?

I thought no at first, until I started to make uncharacteristic mistakes during driving such that I'm getting a little negative about things now... maybe it's the realisation of having to take the test soon... well, I haven't any much lessons left and i'd better so something good to boost myself, and quick... tuition tuition and more tuition for the whole of this week so far, including tonight as well... tomorrow's a real free day for me though! and then sat comes and I'm busy with girls' brigade and tuition again... sunday with church and meetings, and tuition... again... my life's supposed to be more exciting than this... what happened? although I would say that perhaps the most exciting part of this week is the exercise I got on both monday and tuesday (I know some of you guys would say yucks to that but anyway...). hit alot of good shots during table tennis and did some gym work... dying to go swimming today as well, but maybe it's a sign for me to start resting and not sweat it out too much... so it rained... "(

I just got wind of a new information... eating all protein and no carbo can leave women infertile... so gals... do watch that diet... it may seem glamourous now... but eventually... it could mean alot of emotional problems in the future... (to make certain things clear... I'm NOT on a NO-CarBO diet... I'm only eating what's enough for me to carry on through the day... as in specific calculations in calories and all). At least I'm diligent and prudent in my 'so-called' dieting... which I prefer to term as "wise eating choices"...

boring boring and boring...

thought that it would be one week of free time... or so I expected it to be at least. never would have guessed that I would find it most irritating to have instead. how ironic. when I've got so much to do, I grumble and look forward to the next time that I can get some breather. When I've got such mundane things to do, I start to find that everything seems a little meaningless without some 'omp' in life... some stress and excitement... know what I mean? been reading quite a lot (not trashy novels or anything for that matter), and doing housework rather diligently, which is quite unlike me, I must say... but maybe being so busy before has that effect on one... you simply must keep doing something, even if it means that it's tiring, it's boring, it's dirty work and so on...

I'm seemingly prattling on like a parrot... although one thing's for sure, I don't go brainless like parrots do. ;P

driving test's coming up next month (which is really soon... I'm getting the nerves) and I've got so much to do... that I keep having to remind myself to take one day at a time or I would have exploded rather a long time ago... wimbledon's abandoned (it's supposed to be watched by me all the time) and I find myself specialising in sleeping or simply doing anything that I can find to do. Don't get me wrong... I don't have much time to sleep, so that's why I keep dozing off every now and then. church notice board needs to be up, so is the banner. (and the design's not too up yet, yikes) did a collage of my college days... been quite a sentimental time for me, but because was feeling so lethargic whilst doing all that, didn't master the strength to shed a tear or two at all... pity...

feeling a little different... maybe when I'm on the edge of being tired (which I have been all half week), I tend to be... nicer... to everyone no matter what... no, I'm not going to pop pills for that... then again, I might have changed after the mission trip... can't tell myself myself sometimes... need feedback...

I'm back from some trip!

it's been an intellectually enriching and physically stretching month of june so far for me... I'll be free for a whole week( if you count giving tuition and all as still being rather free)and now that the entire bulk of things to do have been accomplished (notice the word 'bulk'-I've still got alot of things to plan and do)I feel really rather upset that everything's gone just like that. To look it on the brigter side of things, my trip has opened my eyes to things never known to a nineteen year old in singapore. it's just so different over there in a closed country. you never know what to expect, what to anticipate and let alone, what would happen tomorrow... but it's just faith and faith alone that leds you on in peace for your everyday. the church scene is more than meets the eye, but the leaders are praying and seeking and asking of the Lord and I believe that though things haven't changed for the better, the Lord hears prayer and will answer as he wills to...

my mind's tired, my body's a trifle frail, but I still feel surprisingly free and at ease... I really do think I need that!

the food has never been an issue in vietnam, it's so wonderful eating there and sipping a cuppa, eating some ice-cream in the thick of the central district... I really did enjoy everything! the fashion's a little back-ward but the costumes' fabulous. the bags are so intricately designed and it shows the quality of the art in the vietnamese. I've no doubt gotten a teeny bit plump, (not that I haven't been already anyway)... am trying to keep to some regime, and hopefully, I'll have what it takes to go through it... otherwise... I'll just scrap the whole idea, or conjure some excuse for not trying to look slimmer than now...

embarked on my try-making-up project... today's day one and seems that it didn't go down too well, but it didn't go down too badly either... I love trying out some new stuff... wonder for how long will this little project go on... got some books at great value at a bookstore today... great thick books... I love them quite alot...

I'm totally knocked out!

The time now would be considered rather unearthly as I'm really tired out today... went gym, followed by three hour tuition, driving lesson, trial test for ftt, tuitioning my sister... and packing for tomorrow's camp... quite alot to do for not drinking any stimulants! But I guess I just need to look forward more to each coming day and really appreciate what has been set out for me to do (although I feel sometimes that it's me who stresses me out and gives me inhuman schedules to follow). I'm not ashamed to say I'm actually looking forward to the last week of june when I can totally relax some while before attending yet another camp. I'm only bothered by the amount of clothes my mother needs to wash now... feeling very guilty and wondering if there's some way I can repay her back... and my dad too... not forgetting... sunday's fathers' day and I'm still backward in getting him a present or a card... or both...

most peculiar... I call it...

whammed down a pole during parallel parking today (I know... stop laughing...), and yet the guy passed me... the same "insult hurling, impatient" instructor I got during one of my less previous lesson... and tellingly, I didnt enjoy that lesson that much... but today's was great! even got to learning more about life from him... guess people do behave very differently with different moods... (the...) and sometimes, we do not give leeway for someone to have a bad day and so to act badly... we just judge... don't we?

overall, rather excited... at the prospects of getting to book my practical test after the next lesson... gee... it's almost like being stopped from complete freedom of driving with just a few lessons more... I know, I'm acting up... I'm behaving like one of those roadsters whose life's just isn't about complete without a little speed in their lives.... *wink*

something's brewing...

in my church's publicity stunt... hoping it'll have much an impact as I hope it would have on people... ;p did the planning and all during a meeting this afternoon... past two days have been giving tuition... helping out somewhere someplace... giving more tuition and driving... seems having no place to find a breather, nor a place for solace and some quiet... will be attending camp next week and then going off to vietnam for my mission trip... but first... got to get over ftt... got to get to studying for it... rather 'stoned' right now... perhaps because of fatigue? not very much lazy... I guess... may tomorrow bring with it some rest, pretty please?

back from the uber not-too-bad camp...

ate so much I could literally explode... but who can resist apple pies, chocolate cakes, eclairs, sweet deserts, quay (if that's how you spell it) etc when they float around you just about everyday during every meal... I just thought to myself that the necessary climbing of stairs to get around due to the building's infrastructure would suffice... to no avail? I gained a kilogram... in just four days...

and thank God that I have made the choice... finally... would be turning up at business school. I was leading in worship during one of the camp sessions and I shared the reason I chose the particular song "you are my hiding place"... I simply wept (without prior rehearsal to do so)... the speaker for the camp prayed for me along with my youth pastor, my mentor and one of the aunties I knew for a really long time in church... it was really up-lifting... the spirit moved within to work things out... I didn't have to sweat anything... the choice was made... the choice confirmed... with signs everywhere...

that settled... putting peace in my heart of course... it's time to start thinking of other more pertinent things... like my mission trip to vietnam...

the preaching was really good during the camp... it struck me just where needed... and everything just tied in with my decision... "my utmost for his highest"... not that devotion book by oswald chambers... it's inspired by it...

talked a little more with a friend I hadn't hang out with in a long time... and glad we still can maintain that bit of 'friendly chemistry' to talk to each other... I also realised that I'm rather different from other people in my doings... weird is the word rather I think... but unique is what I'm trying to reconcile with... it's great to be different... it shows off your speciality... but at the same time, the misunderstandings and hard-to-understand problems arise that one may not be able to take at times...

sorry to be contradictory...about my uni choices...

I know that people who have been reading my blog faithfully would be appalled to imagine my indecisiveness in making this decision in my life... I admit that I have come to alot of conclusions which I dun know are right up to this day, and am still seeking... for confirmation. I only pray God will reveal all to me soon, and that I would be attuned to his will for my life. But first, I've got to set my thinking and values in life, straight... and make sure that I am not biased towards anything that God may set my way...

am back from the camp!

am back from a mind-bogglingly tired camp... I haven't exactly been doing alot during this camp, because we left the planning and carrying out of the camp to a group of people whom we paid to do it all... (these people are from fcbc youth group and a portion of the money is given back to their church) I thought that that was a fantastic idea to raise funds for their church anyways... I made friends of course... and guess will be visiting them at their church sometime soon and see how they run their church... will be thinking of people and ways that my youth group can also come up with a team like that and be enthusiastic about reaching out not only to the youth around us, but to capture them even before teenhood...

still strutting between nus and ntu... bus ad and bioengine... but not entirely exasperated. I thank God that at least I have the places in these unis. Worrying isn't secondary, it's needless... yup.

quite a few of my army friends would be 'poping' (passing out parade) this weekend and so... really happy for them. it's a milestone and I believe that God is constantly at work in them to develop them further, physically and spiritually. it's my prayer they'll become men of God...

at this particular camp with the gb officers, I spent alot of time with them and marveled at the wonders of God's work in their lives. It was a major encouragement... and these teachers were my primary school teachers! Mrs Doris Khor, Mrs Nancy Ng, Mrs Ho-Tan... aunty Lay Beng, and aunty Kah Inn and of course.. pastor cynthia from my church... I learnt alot from their lives and how they really depended on God for the past so many years of their lives and God has not disappointed them... in any way (be it in marriage, in finding a soul mate, in getting a job, in finding friends, in their studies etc). I've always prayed to God for living examples of Godly woman in my life... and here I have found them... younger than chronologically, youthful and beautiful within... ")

and of course... my mom's one beautiful woman as well...

confused yet enjoying God's presence in my life...

I simply know not where to turn to, who to turn to, what to turn to in the midst of this time of confusion and decision making. I don't know my strengths, my weaknesses well enough nor the courses that I should be taking... I only ask for God to shed some light into my life, and show me that even as I learn to trust and serve him wholeheartedly in everything I do, he'll honour that... even if sometimes, I seem so feeble in doing so. just went for the worship workshop conducted by hillsongs. I've been enlightened about worship leading and the impact a worship leader can bring with her, or take to the audience from her innerman... it's a totally radical way to view it and do it... will be starting on it soon... going for the gb camp tomorrow... it's rather tiring, but I guess I'd have to thank God for giving me this skin lightening cream which works on eye bags as well... ")

mission trip meeting last night. wonderful time of fellowship and talking out various plans for it. details are to be secret, for safety sake... and I'll be learning how to travel smart in a country as such in vietnam... church camp would be next week... remind me to sunbathe... I need to darken my fair skin... which is rather uncharacteristic of me since young...

as you can see, my english is very much straightforward and my way of typing, drenched with tiredness... forgive me for this rather boring publication...

by the way...

driving's been rather smooth lately... I think I have to book mass lessons (like everyday) all the time to improve even further... instructors have decided on my adroit driving- that I had better pass on the first attempt... but that's only making me more nervous... but hoping to clinch it in a personal best record no. of lessons and to pass on the first time... not because I'm overly confident that I'm good... it's done in view of financial liabilities that may arise when have spent all my money on the great singapore sale... ;P

tired days so far...

it's really been packed packed and packed full for me... which is a good thing, because on one hand I am finally being productive, on the other hand, I'm actually missing not doing anything at all... both are luxuries I guess, and it depends on which you would love doing (or rather, not doing), more... I dun think there will be any chance for me to actually mope about not having anything to do especially when I've got to catch up in studies due startling lack-of-knowledge about economics. Well, actually, it's a startling thing in itself to go into business not knowing the basics, and maybe I'm not all that bad, because I seem to be able to pick it up from just reading a summarized book of all of the econs chapters... Thank God... just too busy to go about doing it more often than not... I'm actually griping about not having enough time for holidays... but it's mostly because of all the catching up I have to do... been low-energy days for me recently (due to the packed schedule). I feel as if I cannot have that high-energy 'thing' unless I find some place to recharge up... and time...