ohoh

there's something wrong with my blog entry space... like everything seems to be in perfect disorder... oh well.. and today's (or rather, later would be my finance test) and i'm a little edgy since i got a really horrible percentile on my last quiz... it's like some sort of a rescue job of a module today or i'll be hovering in emotional pain... *bleah*

Xin xue lai cao...

Ever Wondered?

Ever wondered how the world churns its dues everyday?
With many processes that complicate in every way?

Ever wondered how life can be so simple?
Yet all its principles are hard to decipher?

Ever wondered about the complexities in relationships?
That are here one day and the next, gone blip?

Ever wondered about the families you were given?
Fathers who toil, mothers who slog and you never gave them recognition?

Ever wondered how we complain and our sorrows,
Which seem so huge we freak out thinking about tomorrow?
Yet we plan and toil and grimace and slog?
To find better tomorrows without the maker's cast-in lot?

Why don't we understand what the Lord requires of us?
Why don't we understand he ignores the past?

Why don't we understand what really needs to be done?
And take practicality out of the door and into his arms run?
Find peace and comfort in his ready arms?
Which never fails, we need not be alarmed.

How can confusing things of the world be answered and explained?
It's not for us to answer nor explain, but to live God's call and there remain.

Sophie.

blunder!

(sticks tongue out)

and the thing is i didn't manage to cover it up well enough this time around... that is the blunder... it's a little difficult to put into words what the whole trivial was about anyway but being a person who values a status as a person who doesn't swear as much as it might have appeared... it does matter to me...

but there's nothing i can do but act innocent and be less talkative in class... *bleah*

hehe... it had a whole funny side to it anyway...

everyone's wishing the semester would end but that would only mean my going away and missing a particular someone and the rest of my family. Goodness, you wouldn't know how much you love them until you're really physically going to be half a globe from them and there wouldn't be a sister to talk to occasionaly ( and i admit i do take her for granted... along with the rest of my family), a brother to ask about of work and the like... a father to talk business and sense to... a mom to pamper me with tonics and tea and good food... and oh the occasional bake she makes on her freer days... and you dear, the cooking we do together, our time with our families... concerts, anniversaries, whatever nots... :) it's been good to reminise thus far... i shan't complain...

will things be different without me around? I'm starting to imagine... not that i have alot of time to spare on this but i seriously am day dreaming a little... perhaps it's what's the most significant thing in my life with the semester more or less halfway through...

and yes three more midterms to go and 4 more quizzes... as well as more submissions... guess it's all been about these things these days.. and no one's having the time to socialise and have fun. be fun and be cool... not that it matters socially.. we could have less drunken drivers.. though now they're more sober and looking forward to meetings and project completions...

yay we're going ikea later... can have my favourite swedish meatballs and salmon... hungry thinking about it...

and i have only 6 cents in my wallet as for now... after eating quite a fair bit for lunch... and breakfast... goodness... don't i just feel poor on mondays... it's the second time around now... and no more going i hope...

my cooking has improved and my mom applauded me on it... but i don't think i would be going around to cook for everyone unless they fancy veggies (cause that's the only stuff i have been experimenting with) ...

haven't tried meat as yet.. got to perfect one before the next!

class is in 40 min and i have got an hour and a half to kill later whilst waiting for him....

which explains my weird timing of blogging... then again i have always blogged during school hours these days as home means sleep... the nus culture has turned me into a daytime-workaholic and a nighttime-couch potato... honestly... i wonder at the amount of star sports i have been watching since the start of the semester... it's quite an interesting fact to note really...

and you wonder... will there be anything in all you do that matters to God? I do start to wonder sometimes... :) it keeps you in check of what you need to do...

hey you people who are currently very stressed out... Trust in the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind... honestly there's no more you can worry about that's going to change things... there's no more you can do than what the Lord has already done for you because it's been so much...

it's not the physical smartness... it's wisdom of keeping good track of time, of good stewardship of your time and money, the inner peace felt when others don't feel so... the blessings which come in many forms, many of which we don't always appreciate... either that or they lie unnoticed... ever wondered?

sane insanity...

sane insanity is coming home to me... in the form of going back to school.. these few days of no school has been a heck of a happenin' week... but very tiring i got to add... two concerts, one whole day of wedding anniversary partying... cooking... one more cirque du soleil concert and that's just the start... one more wedding to go... one more wedding renewal of vows to go this saturday... 4 more midterms, 3 more quizzes, 2 more presentations... makes 1 strong lady! :)

oh rather, quite a worn-out one who's lost track of time and space... and i kid you not when i say i'm tired.. i could almost feel the tarmac floor coming closer to my face!

test's this saturday and boy i haven't started studying for it... this makes me really uneasy but i seem to have the peace, which ironically should be a trifle scary to work with since this is quite new to me... being rather heck-care or so in layman terms... hehe

oh and green ties are nice.... really nice... :)

but everything's been so so fun... it's the company and not really the tiredness huh? thanks dear for being there with me all the way... it's been such a great time... thanks...

and so the days went by...

and i kinda dragged myself... along in a dreaded fashion... i think i am not supposed to be like that! I'm supposed to have some fun and laughter, sleep and peace during my midterm break at least! or some studying time... but i have been in and out of the house... without so much as a glance at my books and homework and it's scaring me really... but with the responsibilities i have got... who's to blame? i'm just being plain old me, trying to please everyone but tiring myself out... take this saturday's worship thingy for my parents' renewal of wedding vows along with many other christian couples in church... they want me to lead worship and i have only been informed this afternoon...

sometimes i wonder if people think i'm too busy for my own good when i do alot or... they think i'm able to cope anyway... and they ought to pile up something else on me...

hello.. i need some fun too you know...

i don't know which is right and true... but i guess that either thinking could be true... i'm always swinging from this reason to that anyway...

a new power.

no not starting to become scarily domineering... :) just that as the toughest part of this academic week just whizzed by, i felt a new power... perhaps to play, have some fun? relax and enjoy life as it should be enjoyed...

i'm in the computer lab waiting for 'someone' to finish up with his thesis thingy... thank God for the break of a concert to put to an end a rather hectic day as today... although yes he would have to listen really carefully for his part of his report for the module "the science of music".

amazing how some people become mere 'sights'... and then pure acquaintances... and now... well... kinda making contact with them in a more regular basis in school...

although the reasons might differ from mere discussions about work... i fear. ha :)

reports reports reports...

4 midterms... 3 quizzes coming up... one more presentation...

when will it ever end?

but i find myself not really wishing the semester away... soon i'd have been done with my 3rd semester in nus, gone on a short exchange, come back as a year THREE????

it's frightening.. trust me.

before i know it i'll be working, getting older... children and the nappies coming in... what in the world! haiz...

argh.

getting older is fun, getting old is not.

another week has passed me by...

and it's amazing how time passes you ever so quickly when you're busy... keeps me reminded that i have to learn to take a little more time off to learn to appreciate its passing by... and enjoy every moment of it... be it a struggle or a time of doubt and learning to trust in our Saviour...

the past week has unfolded a series of events... most fortunately... :)

my sep thingy is still pending but my contact person over there said that i can take 4 modules there and he's trying to help me get my 5th module... that's a relief!

my cca card thingy... well the whole entire 'blur' has cleared up and now i know what i should do and what i need not do...

explained my actions and thoughts to my aiesec seniors and they understand and value me still... thank God for their favour although i'm quite smiling for the 'break'... which i would have by the time next semester starts...

*grin*

my finance quiz whizzed along... no comments about that and i'm pretty unsure... but yes the barrage of more reports and presentations are going to try to mow me down, what with the other commitments that i have got... so for now i'm doing whatever and all that i can to make my excuses of exams more credible in the near future... (as far as i can see)

the educational system sucks? nah... it sure gave me a whole lot of troubles but it's how you adapt to it really... either you choose a certain portfolio of happiness and work and get decent grades or go for all happiness no brains, or all brains dull girl...

life's a series of choices ain't it?

*smile*

happily laden... :)

the barrage of assignments, quizzes and project datelines have threatened to be unnerving but i won't let it... :9

did another of my presentations today... today accounted for about 15% of the mark for the subject of asia pacific business policy... suppose i would say that i have to really thank God for his guidance and wisdom in answering the questions posed to me as well as for giving me the constant composure whenever i have my presentations this semester... despite the fact that i do have rather prominent people in class whom i'm a little frightened of... in a sense that they might ask the most deep and difficult questions... not that they are in any way bad... don't get me wrong...

but yes i would have to say... thank you Lord!

and now i would have to attend a barrage of events... all of which are very entertaining and enlightening... i can predict! cause though it would be alot to go through... they're with people i love to be with and i kinda get the feeling of easiness once i settle into whatever events... so for this coming mid term break... it's really 2 concerts, 3 ceremonies of wedding renewals... 1 birthday party and vcf bizad's effort to have a movie session to reach out...

and of course on top of that i would have 4 midterms to study for... the 5th is lurking around the corner...

seems like the projects have threatened to harm me... but God provides and paves the way... :)

and yes... i do have the most horrible of schedules and the like... but what gives? :)

tomorrow would be having an outing which, technically isn't so since we're going to karen's house and it is in and not out... shoot i'm starting to get lame... but yes it'll be a time out together... as a group... looking forward to cooking... hehe... but for a note of caution... those who are not confident of my domestic capabilities can opt to bring a ton a charcoal pills along in any case... ;P

my thigh has been rather damaged with a lack of stretching on saturday during the dance practice... it hasn't gotten back into shape as yet and i fear that i might not be able to do the dance... but i told God that he wills and he allows... i shan't fight nor struggle... i can worship God in any way... :) be it cheering from the sidelines... hehe

and oh yes.. my exchange program... right now i am waiting for a reply from the administrator's side at UWA to see if i can take 5 modules in a term or go for two consecutive terms... otherwise i might have to end up with two semesters in nus of 6 modules each or take summer school (which is never confirmed because the summer classes have to exceed a certain number... which usually doesn't get through but with God i know i'll find a way... the way he wants me to go...)

i don't know about tomorrow
i just live from day to day
i don't worry o'ver the future
for the skies may turn to grey
i don't worry o'ver the future
for i know what Jesus says
that everyday he'll walk beside me
and i know who holds my hand

many things about tomorrow
i don't seem to understand
but i know who holds tomorrow
and i know who holds my hand...

*i can't exactly remember the lyrics... but roughly that is that... guess that's just what i meant to say and sing...

can't help talking about everything hes's done...
it's the best thing to happen since the world begun
it didn't come cheap but i got it for free
i've got the hope of glory, Christ in me

he can make a way when there isn't a way
that's what the love of God can do

hope can found its place within me
now that i've been found in you
let all i am be all you want me to be
cause all i want is more of you
all i want is more of you

i'm living for this cause
i lay down my life into your hands
i'm living for the truth
the hope of the world in you i'll stand
all i want is you...

Sophie.

happiness!

eating and taking my own sweet time with everything and everyone (hopefully)

and i don't feel agitated. oh wow.

somehow. well... just getting on... not merely existing for no reason at all but learning that every person i meet is an opportunity...

and i have been grabbing hold of them... hope to be even more enthusiastic though! :0)