you know what I'd like to know?

I'd like to know how amazing it can be that I actually gained 4 kg in the past two weeks... I'm still a little baffled... but not down nor out... after all, I think that I still own a fit body and it doesn't look 4 kg heavier to me... :)

and what I'd like to know is the possibilities of having certain people back in my life or within my life... I'd like to know how things would have turned out differently...

and I'd like to have known how i would have turned out differently had I been more conscientious in my studies and less relationship-oriented... it could have differed margins by margins... who knows? I could have been a scholar... or studying medicine in UK now... or medicine in australia... or law in singapore (not that I didn't qualify, missed by a little glitch)... the possibilities are endless... really...

and had God not been taking care of me all along... I could have been a school drop-out, an ah lian... a repulsive little brat with no goals in life nor God... nor learning to have a character nor a vision... ??? who knows? really...

and we were contemplating buying plots together at the Garden of Remembrance... :) life is short and youth is fleeting... I love my family... so maybe we should... it brings a sense of closeness... for better for worse, for richer for poorer, and death wouldn't do us apart...

melancholic and indifferent... I am... towards my studies... but before it all... may I say something? suddenly the idea of Inertia becomes real... :) you're a smart one...