why why why???

why is it when I finally get to know people for who they are... they totally surprise me... totally knock me out??? (not knocked out in a good sense please)...

I'm pretty disappointed with myself, everyone, everything... seems like everything i believed in was a lie... which is... that somehow certain things can be perfect... this world can never be... I got to accept that... it's a fact...

well, what do I say to people in the same boat as I am in? I'm trying not to rock my own boat here and somehow being with people and getting to know them a little better's pushing me down the stairs rather than lifting me up...

so we're merely people... sinful people with forgiveness accepted...

but there are hints of gentleness and sweet... i just have to keep looking deeply...