notice how the mood swings...

La! someone to be depressed alongside with me... (I know it isn't 'politically sound' to publicly voice your depression)... but it has been bad... because of these two words which unfortunately, have been hounding me night and day... Cognitive dissonance... I desperately need to be a little more attentive to my actions and beliefs and feelings... no doubt it'll be quite a challenging experience... but getting over it (if there's an end, which I doubt) would be quite an achievement and thing is, it could mean everything that's in my life getting better with it...

so I feel a little speechless about my feelings, don't know what to feel or think... sometimes, that's it isn't it? you don't know what to think or feel and you end up thinking or feeling what you think you should be feeling or thinking... not actually what you are feeling or thinking... ok... forgive my confusing statements here... it's the best I can come up with during the time I take to type this...

and because of that, one doesn't know her beliefs and end up taking on false beliefs... beliefs that don't fit in with what she wants... so naturally her actions and beliefs clash as a result and it's a horrid horrid world thereafter...

which is why I'm feeling this way... which is why I need to start thinking a little more... and feel a little more forcefully... to draw out what I want exactly and start working on it... ignoring the outside distractions or taking charge of them... and moving out in great force to be what i intend to be... and achieving achievements I should long ago have been achieving and not look back and regret any longer...

I believe the people who are successful in life would have thought through all these things by now... and what a wonderment I hadn't started earlier... it shows through my inmature ways and thinking... and i seek betterment... AC's motto speaks it with gusto and i quite enjoy the urge it gives you, to move on... the best is yet to be!