shifting around uncomfortably in all seats but the shared...

somehow the responses of everyone else is unnerving me... and it's not about the smiles and weird stares but more of the unpleasant experiences we had to go through and settle before really coming together with peace... of course i have got to tell myself that perhaps this is something we would never be able to conquer and take control of... and so we had better let go and let God... :)

and i only wished our shared conversations could be longer... but both of us are pretty busy with this and that and we like to have our time shared with everyone else... with church people and our friends and families... so it doesn't make for much to speak to each other about stuff but i respect that fact that we both lead separate yet conjoined lives... and share our lives and relationship with everyone else so that we are in a sense accountable to more people and thus wouldn't tend to make the silliest decisions... at least, that is what i think so...

wrote a poem... in about ten... a pretty interesting one.. which i declined to share here once i felt that it would be too much information about my life and the like... ha... perhaps sometimes certain things are only for a person's eyes... *smile*

don't puke.

and additionally... i'm still trying to get over the fact that i have not been the best gf for the past one week and more.. although i believe i was an extremely supportive and caring friend to him for that matter before everything started... it's just this thing within me that wants to push him further in the Lord... to the Lord... and want to support him in every way possible in my actions, thoughts and speech as well as my decisions... not to make them without his consent when the decisions concern him...

but perhaps i need to come to the realisation that yes i'm nothing... i constantly need the Lord's provision and wisdom... realisation is better than ignorance then.. and i had better thank God at least i knew and know... and i can change for the better... :)