i don't know why...

I don't know and don't understand why I'm perpectually busy... and it only came to my realisation when i started evaluating the time i had to spend with him, my family and friends... even my date with my cousin has been left on hold for the longest time... :(

and my activities are so numerous... and so time-consuming... that i wonder why i do the things i do especially they start clashing and my occasional tiredness gives in to grumbles... but i don't complain... don't want to complain... think that while yes i need to take a step back... have been taking baby steps back now... and it'll all lapse into one big US exchange... what a plan! :)

so maybe i do.. but what's most important is that i get the understanding from my family... we work our schedules out to have common meals together... albeit at the expense of my spending some time with people such as my church friends... haiz... but i try as and whenever i can... go for every cell meeting as i can... i'm trying to be everywhere at once... but time doesn't permit sometimes...

thing is... i love the commitments! it so energises me.. guess that's about being an extrovert... you get energised from outside stuff... but I also believe God wants me to work things out so that i learn to be freer for other commitments i have never taken to...

it gives me peace to know also, that being still doesn't equate to being free... it means to rest in him whether or not a busy schedule beckons... :)