it was so so good... I loved every moment of it...

from the prayers behind the curtain to the dancing and the singing... from the friendly banter to the occasional his and byes... from the acquiantance to the bonded friendship... from the cheers of the audience to our whooping at the last curtain's close... from our stress to our sense of loss...

this musical has been everything that I could have asked for... a time of friendship, a time out with God... a time of learning and the sharing of lives... a time to hear pretty corny pick-up lines and jokes... and a time to reflect on eternity... there's so much we want to say but can't... who knows and understand what we have been going through in the last two months or so? it was like a long boot camp... where camps bring people together... and people to God...

I love the songs, I love the lyrics... it's just swirling around in my head right now... I still can imagine the heavily-made-up faces of ours... mascara... and liners... and fake eyelashes... :) the gathering to pray... the gathering to share... to take the few pictures that would suppose to be the lingering of memories... sigh... how can pictures ever express what we have been going through???

we laughed... we cried. the last debrief was yesterday... but you know what? it's not ending... it's going to be happening... we have got to get our act together... the exams are here in no time at all... but we'll be having a gathering soon... and even sooner for the easties... ha... I'll be the organizer... of course... josh told me to make use of some business admin skills here... not that it applies to finance...

and yes... the toil of it all taught me something... we need not to rely on the human factors to find our fulfillment... God alone can... even when it seems dire... he can turn the tides and move the mountains... just believe... and see the miracles... God... help me to see the miracles... I need to...

the east asian conference... hmmm... the job application... hmmm... somehow I'm not that keen on the job anymore... was sharing with marcus how I have been toiling and trying to gun for the cca points... and building of the cv... but in whatever I do, I have lost heart... because I realise something greater... a forever... and I need to work towards eternity... and not build up my quiant little life here... it's not about me... as if God should so things my way... he alone is God and I surrender... to his ways...

once again... God... you showed yourself strong... and real to me... I lean on you in my everything... I need you... show me... show me... show me.

Jesus, lover of my soul
all consuming fire is in your gaze
Jesus, i want you to know
I would follow you all of my days

and no one else in history is like you
and history itself belongs to you
alpha and omega you have loved me
and I would share eternity with you

it's all about you, Jesus
and all these is for you
for your name and for your fame
it's not about me
as if you should do things my way
you alone are God and I surrender...
to your ways...

God... I'm crying out for our parting... a time of being together for practices... yet again... I know that it has been a success because of our feeling this way... may we keep you close to our heart always... keep the message in our minds... always... and continue to love each other always... it's not ending... it's not...