bank of america did it again...

they rejected my cheque to them, wasted my money and time trying to call them to solve the problem, now they charge me for my overdraft twice... and they are still asking for the money...

please don't mind me... but to heck with everything, really.

to put that aside I had a fantastic time with my anntic committee... had alot of things done, got to know them... was good. but got to know that i have to attend the exco meetings every month... goodness... that would leave me no time at all honestly... I really have to speed up on working on which ministries to be part of and etc...

which is not at all easy when you think that you want God to have full control of what needs to be done and not in your life... his timing is not mine... and neither do i have his wisdom to decide and know what is best for me...

my studies (something i really want to work on this coming semester), exco meetings, vcf cg meetings, epistole meetings, dance practices, youth ministry (attend a cell and head a cell), worship ministry (practices)... the heightened awareness of what a cell leader should be doing is not putting me at rest... there's so much to do and so much more i need to do... yet i feel that though the heart is willing the flesh is weak... and i may not have the time to do everything i set out to do... argh.

the common sense says to get rid of the things i had originally wanted to get rid of... the spirit within tells me to be sure of how and why i had chosen the few ministries i had decided on a little earlier...

God... how? help me.

If i feel so stressed now... goodness knows how i would feel when i do start working... like shane said. i guess i was forced to grow up quickly but not as quickly as some others i know... yet i think that although sometimes i feel it has gone a long way in helping me accomplish certain things.. it has become my source of discomfort in the knowledge that I overdrove myself in the impertinent things and didn't for the pertinent. i get irrate when i don't see things in a more mature way and yet maturity takes time and can only come at the right time... but i am too impatient. i am disappointed with myself... and i get blurry-eyed thinking of my failures... i can't seem to do anything right...

but yet a still small voice calls out to me: count your blessings, redirect your focus onto him, find rest in him...