acid jazz.

if blue like jazz as a title was to describe the soulful, real, and freeform of each person, perhaps acid jazz describes my personality pretty well...

i think i have this acidic tongue which i never attempted to train from young... and of course as the years go by, it gets harder and harder to detect and correct, because it gets excused as part of one's personality. sarcasm. that's what people with acid tongues are excused by.

so i need to be aware of it. get down and dirty to hearing people's comments on the way i carry myself. and see what needs to be done. and whether or not anything needs to be done... because much as i would hate to say this, some people do need a good talking to... but those same people consist of people older than me, supposedly wiser than me... yet they do things in the most childish and illogical way... not saying anything is feigning ignorance and letting them do further wrong... but speaking up is seen as a sign of disrespect. my dad says respect needs to be earned and therefore i should learn to earn that respect from others... he's so nice he's earned alot of respect. ok so i am not nice at all and i need to earn respect to tell other people about something that concerns them and would most definitely affect them if they don't change their ways... here i am trying to see it as an interference because i care... there they're seeing it as disrespect. maybe i shouldn't care. shouldn't care to think for them and of them. just let go and feign ignorance.

i am most certainly bitching here... but i don't get why girls dig musicians, whether or not they possess any social skills... i think guys with a good outlook overall has being a musician as a definite plus point... but not someone who hardly knows how to treat a lady like a lady! i was just having this conversation with joel and calvin and we kinda agreed that quite some girls dig musicians... they can have the most ungentlemanly ways but it is always seen as 'attitude', never a lack of propriety. i thought to myself that it's good for the musicians with an 'attitude' as joel described, that there aren't many girls with my mindset. with that kind of attitude, i wouldn't give a d***

i think it's my swollen eye that's giving me a 'reason' for being acid. and then who knows? pms becomes an excuse... followed by pms... hey there's always the pre and the post symptoms alright...