why do i plan my time so poorly???

haiz... i guess one can never been 100% in everything that he or she does... i need to go take a test for a provisional license and it's this month. so it's apparent that i have to practice alot more since i don't find myself too comfortable with what i have been seeing thus far...

i also wanted all along to get a grip on an internship during this time, if there ever was one available any time even now... there were few really good offers... but i can't apply for them... because i had committed my time to attending the vcf foc camp as well as planned meetings and theory tests and all during the course of the day... i thought that the hsbc internship would have been perfect, given that i love to present and there would be an overseas trip involved for meetings... of course it mightn't be that i would get it but at this time of the year, most people would have either been the midst of internships or found some other form of work... so i guess i would be at the advantage, had i freed up this time...

but i think to myself now... had i been in the midst of an internship, would i have sacrificed work for church work? the probability is less, though i did go for a retreat last year in the midst of my internship thanks to God's grace... but i had doubted the occurance. so why am i thinking of sacrificing my church work for work now? i can always be frugal and go out when necessary... to meet up and have meetings... or bake at home!

rationalisations. the bane of my life. the heights of human psychology.

bother.

btw, i baked foccacia bread the other day and c'est superb! baked butter cake last evening and it turned out perfect... me and my mom are having a roll man! hehe...