ever done something against your will?

which you felt is right to do and most admirable at the end of the day but at the same time you realise it means alot more... of compromising your happiness (which i now realise would be temporal) to be a friend, a pal, a protector...

ever resorted to the most unthinkable thing you could think about? i did.

ever been in the situation most unthinkable? I am.

ever been played out by your own set of logical reasonings? i was. still am.

ever made a major decision in the midst of the coming exams? i am supposed to.

ever defuncted from making decisions? i would like to right now...

hurt someone? oh too many times. for that i hate and resent myself...

prayed about something, believed in it so much only to find out it wasn't meant to be? (or rather what seems like it's not meant to be) ya i am facing it now...

how? why? what? when? who? where?

suddenly the players have started their rehearsal, the camera is rolling and i feel like part of the audience from the outside looking into my inside...