insecurity.

insecurity makes you feel like there's a need to be prideful to intimidate and push away any instances of your vulnerability...

insecurity makes you do the most ridiculous thing and makes you jusfity your actions according to your own logic, or by confusing others in a myraid of words... or both.

it makes you want to look for avenues which are often mistakened as those of fun-loving nature, yet thinking through this whole thought process of yours has never been in the list...

it makes you feel the highs and lows and become more moody, pms becomes a consistent fool-proof excuse and your life isn't right without people in your life... you cannot seem to be alone, when you used to be able to.

but perhaps that all stems from not realising the insecurities within... and now that i have realised it, it's time to move on, change, apologise for whatever hurts i have caused, make things new or whatever that's in my capacity and let God do the rest. i just need to talk things out with friends who understand me and won't see me as s*** when they know the true me...

then again my posting it serves not as a form of getting others to be aware of this, but to say that i am imperfect and through his perfection i am made well... and i am working on this... so be patient with me.