Wow- I haven't posted anything for eons now...

I guess everyone's been starting to smell the staleness of the blog since I haven't been diligently blogging nor had the time and inspiration to write anything other than my business case a couple of months ago, papers for my modules, doing up presentations for the Marshall USC international case competition and finally trying to catch up with work with the barrage of events that came or are coming along- Joseph's coming to town, job search with tons of interviews and midterms... I am still trying to catch up with work by the way- and it hasn't been easy not due to the difficulty of the assignments but the lack of motivation to do anything at all. I am tired.

So here I am trying to keep awake during a simple lecture- seemingly. I think it's harder for me to keep awake these days- perhaps due to having a variety of things to do... which I otherwise would not in a crazy schedule. But I guess I have always been a little insane in scheduling my time- I sit for a couple of hours not doing anything and scream bored.

Work's probably going to start 2nd June with a Danish Consultancy firm though I have yet to accept the offer offered to me as I have one last interview with a bank this wednesday before I make any final decision. It has been an interesting time of interviews where I went and dressed up for interviews in which I knew I had 30% of interest level just so to gauge my competencies in interviews- which was a good move as I performed much better at the actual ones. It also helps that I prayed to God to shut out all other opportunities except the one he wants for me. But as usual, 2 of the most differing job scopes lasted as my final 2 and should I get this wednesday's job- it might perhaps be the largest scale decision made this year...

But everything is fine amidst knowledge that Joseph would be coming to Singapore to live and work in Singapore as soon as he can- I really cannot wait for him to come! :) He highlights my weeks and days and more so ever since he came to Singapore and dispelled all fears of the unknown and mysterious american boyfriend... :)

Trying to choose between ministries and cell groups and what not within CCR again- I suppose re-integrating back to to church has been both a little interesting, refreshing and yet trying for me. Trying as I don't know what to do, where to go, whom I can identify with again and etc. But I guess being able to fit in is my forte- the question is though, is the act of fitting-in ideal or joining a group which suits me better? Is joining a ministry I can comfortably sit in or joining one more trying the better choice? Is it better to fit in and not be able to see the whole picture or fit in and give excuses why or why not something can or cannot be done?

I suppose in everything- like I have mentioned to so many of my christian friends- it's a matter of God's choice for you and should one follow it despite the supposed arduous journey- you would come out the better of it. I should know- being an extremely average student with huge aspirations within an unfamiliar environment of business and smart minds... I still don't know where to do and what to do- but Joseph tells me that everything would be worked out by God- I shouldn't worry. :)

and hence my tiredness attempts to drift away from writing these but I doubt anything works like a coffee charm on my tired body and mind. Sometimes I can't help but feel like my body has been worked to the max although not doing anything... I don't know why anymore... but I have gotten slightly more orderly and perhaps older in my habits and thinking- sleeping early, getting up early and being disciplined with what I do. The minute I drive myself to the edge of the road with late nights and what my undisciplined and rebellious nature likes- I exhaust myself. *yeeks*

I really need sleep- and a lot of coffee...