I think feelings take control of me sometimes...

But nevertheless it is interesting to see how the free run of emotions brings me. It ain't such a good time now that time is of the essence and many papers and presentations do shout for my utmost attention. Gosh I was trying to transfer the information from my previous A5 sized calendar to fit that which is of A4 size... and realized what a tight squeeze of time I have for my papers... and I still haven't gotten over the fact that after a month and a half of school- I'm done. I really done with everything.

Never mind the poor grades recently and the little bumps here and there every now and then... Never mind some poor friendships formed (if you can call them friendships, I would)... Never mind those moments when poor me overworked myself just to fit into what people call a "successful student"... never mind the overly ambitious thoughts of trying to work and study at the same time... which I did not once but twice. I am glad to say I'm finally going to be making it- that is- when I pass all the subjects this last and final semester...

Wow.

I hope that I can say I leave this place full of memories- but honestly those are hardly coming off my radar right now... what I treasure are those little moments when I interacted with random friends, met new friends everywhere I went, learnt a little more each time I meet someone new, and evangelized or try to create a better impression of Christians (we're not boring and no we're not dull)

I hope those are life skills I never forget and always remember to heart. Be fresh and open in mind, strong in spirit, wise in outlook and quick to listen and learn.

Ah well- all these coming out from me after an emotionally trying time trying to figure out what to do in life- after doing countless personality tests and trying to figure out who I am... what I should do... and when... It was heartbreaking to a certain extent when all that I thought I wanted to do wasn't it- and frightening to learn that what now stands ahead of me seems like a mighty task I don't know I can handle... some people say the key to success is to be ignorant and confident- I think I used to be "successful" in that sense... but ever since I learnt more of the world and about myself these days, the volatility of character and my knowing of what I don't know and knowing that there is more I don't know that I don't know frightens me...

It's hard to go out there to try and conquer the world with that childlike faith and hope... It's so easy to get beaten down and become down and out with your spirits when everyone's the same that way... but I must not be moved... and I know all the more, I need the fresh renewal from the spirit everyday- and Lord, guide me through it all, in every way...